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Nov 06

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A Life Of Minimal Compromise

you know how you may get this or do that or go there and all of a sudden nobody can tell you nothing? and you’re too busy living to be bothered with anybody’s mundane existence? you ever notice you are no longer moved by the simple problems of mortals and their primitive “human” belief systems? me neither…

when you catch yourself realizing that the pondering, wondering, thinking, summarizing, strategizing, creating and wandering within your own thoughts within your own head is more entertaining, rewarding and fulfilling than any external source?

i don’t “worry” about much, because i address and handle stuff before it becomes something to worry about. but one thing has been getting my attention lately and that’s just how “happy” i am being alone. i swear i walk into my apartment look around knowing i totally uncompromisingly control this space and what goes on in it. and what doesn’t go on in it. that i am in complete control of what i will put effort to think about. i am not responsible to answer to anyone. i have the mental space to think about creating any philosophy or idea or theory. totality uninhibited. and in my apartment i have gathered and setup the tools to hypothesize, research, create and disseminate. or i can eat pizza and cookies and sleep all day (even when i do that my mind is thinking in places that give me enjoyment). my concern is that i enjoy it waaaaaaay waaaaaaay too much. there may be no going back from here. i dont have to be tolerant or understanding at all. i’m living a life of minimal compromise. with no remorse or apprehension. aggressively enjoying this distance and separation that leaves me a big place to think. that’s what i really want to do maybe. think and theorize. i want to discover that special thing. but i know i cant sit around and only do that. is why im super grateful for work.and my passion for the steelers, and p-funk and they are big enough to bring me out of me. and family and “friends” and acquaintances who are at a perfect distance and allow me to have that space. i love that friggin’ space soooo much. but i know i must have balance. and maintain myself physically and socially. LOL when im out there at a pfunk show or whatever in the moment cutting up i think to myself this is the best feeling!! i love people!!! LOL i have so many best feelings and that’s the best feeling…

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