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DAILYS: December 27, 2008

p_00430december 27, 2008 "its cold (california cold), wet and rainy." my words 2 weeks ago. its the same, seems colder and rainy-er also.feeling like i'm getting it back. feels good too. more than just faith. my weight is up to 218, but im not worried about that, in fact i got cookies now. and dots and charleston chew bites. the dollar boxes.my beloved steelers are doing well even if i do have my doubts about big ben. i love him and support him because he is a starting pittsburgh steeler quarterback. im sure people look at me weird when i where my o'donnell jersey and that is probably why i wear it. but he was a starting superbowl quarterback and i was at that game when he played his last as a steeler throwing two interceptions. i think big ben may be too big and a little slow at quarterback. he may also be hurting and just getting his health back. for awhile there he didnt throw down field and most of his passes were wobbly ducks. i may be over critical.
december 15, 2008 its cold (california cold), wet and rainy. traffic was fairly ok, considering the flipped over pickup and other major delays i was able to narrowly avoid. i am in simi valley preparing to enter the building for work, sitting in my car blogging just because i can basically. wanted to start at 7:30 but traffic got me here at 7:40am, so i i'll play on the computer. i love the pittsburgh steelers. i have my doubts about ben rothlisberger, but the last couple of weeks he has stepped up and thrown the ball downfield and made big plays. my father says he too slow and that may be exactly it. ok, time to go to work!
december 14, 2008 always have a back-up, always. and i mean a back-up for everything. everything. one of my webhosts server crashed and weeks of work i did on my webpages was gone in a flash. poof! i have been having problems with up time with this host and have been aware of the changes that i should make. so in a way i feel its my fault that i allowed myself to be at someone else's disposal regarding work and info that i hold so dear. i have learned my lesson and swear this will never happen again, but we will see. the work that was lost is not complicated or difficult to recreate. in fact, i redid my homepage in about 2 hours better than it was before. i learned alot in the first build that i immediately used which made things happen very fast. the dailys, events, my p-funk, etc all changes in the overhaul gone!
october 7, 2008 first thing i see on cnn is sarah palin live in florida delivering the same speech she has been delivering for the last couple weeks. the anchor tj holmes even commented that it was a speech that we have heard many times before. it is possible that the attacks and the negative campaign style that the republicans seem to have adopted may work in the less educated parts of the country. it is primitive and from the gut and basic. palin doesnt really say anything, but she finds that thing that "ignorant" people who live un-informed lives respond to. everybody is not as smart as everybody. its not education, its like an intellectual enlightenment. obama is laid back and  appeals to intellectuals. people who i believe will change this country for the better once the primitive people of war and god evolve away. mccain campaign spokesmen nancy pfotenhauer is on the screen now, she is another type of white female that i totally disagree with but find so so fascinating. i knew when i saw her that she would be relentless in staying on the pro-republican message no matter what. they were slammin her but she smiled that smile into the camera and kept right on going. i saw her once on one news channel wearing these big hoop earrings that i noticed to be a bit fashionable for her role, and a bit sexy if you ask me. minutes later she was on another news channel and the earrings were gone. it was cool. she has that look and that white girl thing for sure.  i just googled her and found one of her last names is mitchell like mine. as much as i love female newscasters regardless of race, color or creed, it seems i am not attracted or stimulated by the females on fox news. its funny cause they are cute i guess, they really try to be sexy in ways but i just dont feel them at all.
8:36am got up early today in an attempt to fight off the lazys. trying to eat healthy and get myself together before its too late. and too late is approaching especially fast in these dire economic times. i need a job, not only for the $$ to live, but for mental, physical and psychological health reasons. i realized that this isnt the first time ive felt this discouraged and unmotivated. the other was also after a couple of years of unemployed bliss. funny it seems im happiest and most self-enlightened after i have been working for 2 years or so. i refer to myself as institutionalized and i need the regiment and discipline of everyday work. there is a window where i peak and the regiment becomes unbearable however.  when i feel that the job is confining me, and thats when i get laid off and live off my 401k in self enlightened bliss for about 1.5 years before the slide begins. even heaven gets boring i guess. as far as skills go, if you dont use them you loose them. conversational and social skills just as technical skills. mental sharpness wanes just as technical knowledge. i got out of this last time by having a good job basically fall into my lap and working for 3 years. i was discouraged and had given up. like now, im suppose to be lookin for a job, but i am truly discouraged. im glad that i am up, out of bed and being somewhat productive though, and im sure i will start my job search shortly. tighten up my resume, start firing it off to people and staffing agencies, taking calls and setting up interviews. i just have to get back into it as my resources are down to like 2 months of living. recruiters call sad and apologetic about how bad the job market is. you can hear sorrow and maybe pity in their voices. they are not optimistic at all. all this said, there is something in me that believes that once i get on it i can make it happen. the confidence is there and i believe i have the tools and skills to make it, though i may have never done it before.
october 6, 2008 im pretty sure i made a video where ive proclaimed my love for tina fey  and amy poehler. it just hit me that my dearest sarah is played by ms fey and it may be the biggest (by the numbers at least) thing SNL has ever done. im lazy and out of writing shape so this may be disjunctured, and non-sensical.  my love for sarah palin got me out of bed and into a decent shirt and on a freeway. heard it on cnn around 11:30am got online and found it was a 2:30pm event home depot center carson. at the queen mary long beach, ca i got to see ellen johnson of atheist watching cnn youtube  fame and "discovered" margaret downey at the atheist alliance convention. i was the like the only black person but it was cool. it was also the first time in a long time that i ventured out of my hiberation. wish my energy was better, next time its on.
october 3, 2008 its culture vs culture. the ways of their culture irks me in the same ways im sure mine irks them. we are different. it may come down to "their" lack of quest for knowledge. deep scientific knowledge. not that they dont have it, but the fact they have no desire to attain this "knowledge." the accepted ignorance and the dullness of the philosophy of god. i believe ive written about the black male and the white female's "status" in society. sarah palin was magnificient.  i noticed in the presidential debate how often each candidate looked directly into the camera and when. i was texting #4 calling out when obama or mccain "used the look." obama would blink at it everytime he did his crossover move. chris mattews msnbc called mccain a troll. said he doesnt think america wants to look at this for the next 4 years. i knew each candidate would use the direct camera look move in their closing statements. that beautiful crazy white girl came out and went directly into the direct camera look move and didnt let it go and it made me scream. literally. only a white girl could get away with what she did last night. can i call you joe. say it aint so joe. thats disrespect. i may have checked her. or at least an excuse me. you just met me and you're throwing my name around like we buddies. that was not cool, but only a white girl could get away with that. the media is on it. msnbc and oberman and mathews are over the top, sometimes. they just doing stuff now and i love it. the first time i was like "did she just wink?" then she didnt answer the questions and stated that she wasnt gonna answer them and i loved it! thats why i love white girls, them kind too. and there are maybe more people like her in america than like "me" or "us." even the cadence in which she speaks feels like disharmony to my tone. appearance wise, new mexico says "they're always trying to be really neat."  their hair style and dress . conservative people with conservative values and conservative fashion. trulio disgracias is out on a northern california tour. 2 dates.  that road stuff is heavy, the lifestyle is heavy. you gotta be in shape physically and mentally. a strength and tolerance is needed. ill be back im sure, but right now im not totally fit. it will pass and i will be back out there. kim manning of george clinton gonna be there and other special guests. down to the difference music choice difference in the republican and democratic conventions house bands, music selections. the beauty also is in that it takes time to digest everything. it will be days to a week before something stands out from this debate, the whatever it is that gets traction and defines the event. could be polls or a popular youtube video. i like that, no matter how much spin my news channels give it will take time for something to stand out and define the event. the news channels panels are getting more and more emotional. more heated, more "out of control" as in displaying real emotions. larry king threatened to turn his panels mics off if they didnt settle down. it was good.
september 26, 2008 i was telling my sister the republican type folks have a beautiful way of saying things in such a self righteous naturally condescending manner that it makes you unconsciously question your own value and station in life. they play the "how dare you" role with such a tone it makes you feel like you are wrong without even questioning it! JOHN MCCAIN DIDNT LOOK AT BARACK OBAMA ONCE DURING THE DEBATE. this amazes me. mccain appeared sad and old. chris mattews said are the american people ready to look at a troll for the next 4 years. a grumpy old troll. obama did good considering he was standing up kinda single handedly against thousands of years of militaristic caucasian western ideology. war war war. fear, freedom, country, white haired family of war. it was as if sen obama was our sides representative against this war philosophy or honor and country that no one dare even question. he was the embodiment of our arguments against this mighty mighty culture. where military defense initiatives are celebrated like birthdays. someone like me. my age, my race, my demographic. standing up against the mighty machine to change history. like when christianity took over rome. this could be the fall of that empire and ideology. and it was a one of me who stood as the representative of the movement. a movement of peaceful, intellectual people. people of a new higher consciousness. this is a culture war. an evolution of our society. smooth, fluid, articulate, loving, caring, people. spiritual but not religious. the modern, dynamic homo sapien. mccain supporters see him as winning the debate and doing no wrong, just as i see obama sort of. to me he clearly outclassed mccain because i identify and respond to his culture type. the person he is doesnt irritate me and im attracted to the energy. where everything mccain does irritates the fuck out of me. right down to the way he walks. i dont like his culture  or energy and it does not harmonize with my energy. joe biden was on the news shows afterwards and he is ready for his debate with sarah palin. i love joe biden and i love sarah palin. joe gonna crush her. i hope he make her cry. i mean i know he wont smash her like that but oh what if he did. he was relaxed, quick and seemed hungry like an anxious player watching the game from the bench dying to get in. i think the moderator or program people made a mistake in not having a break in there. after some heavy heavy discussion of some deep history changing politics, they both needed to rest and regroup. so much was riding on the situation i needed a timeout to digest! it seemed the candidates did too having been through that pressurized moment in history. the moderator should have paused or made a joke and released the tension.
. september 5, 2008 during sarah palin speech i texted #4 and told her obama just lost the election, she was just that good. me and sarah disagree on every major issue but i love her. even after i heard mention that she believes in creationism. its obvious her and john mccain dont like each other much, at least yet. they are on cnn now at a rally in wisconsin where sarah just introduced her to the crowd. she used the same zinger one liners she used in her speech. even the community organizer one, then mccain comes on with the same line he used about intoducing her to washington, dc. they are using the same lines. last night during mccains speech i texted #4 and told her mccain just lost the election back. he was terrible giving his speech, absolutely horrible. sure it might work with the people he is trying to reach as they are probably as uncoordinated and awkward as he is, cause this is plainly one culture vs another. watching this rally, mccain continues to use the same exact phrases he used just last night like no one watched that speech. palin read part of her introduction and stumbled over a few words. "elite" might not be the word, but i know what they mean. we are different. we are the people of greek styrofoam pillars, hollywood stars and dynamic educated people. we are into the arts and music, we are articulate, rhythmic, and fun loving. we know how to celebrate because we seek an enlightenment. we do not bound ourselves with fear of god or terrorism and base both these things in militarism. it was so obvious to me just looking at the crowd. im not sure how how to classify or name them, but there is a overwhelming consistency about the demographic of the republican party. this is culture vs culture. they had a 15 year old lily white kid plainly and very dryly recite the opening national anthem. we had a black female academy award winner boldy and energeticly sing that bad boy. the question i can hear my mother asking is "so since they can do this you would want them to run your country?" and the answer is yes!! i have trust in their decision making based on what i feel their disposition is. their decision making would not be based on fears of god or terrorism or "they are gonna get us." they were cheering "drill baby drill." they celebrate and find honor in war. mccain boasts of his time as a prisoner of war as if it makes him worthy to be president. i will say it, i dont believe it does at all. i can also say since im not running for office that i may or may not not support our troops. my support for our troops is not a blind devotion. if we are doing things and in places we should not be, we are wrong. this is a voluntary army, these people want to be in the military. its a choice they made. its not a draft, if they want out they can get out for the most part. i do however have much respect and gratitude for what the do, but to blindly support this instituion i can say i dont unconditionally support any institution. this is going to be a nasty nasty election race. the republicans are gonna cry foul for strong attacks on sarah palin but will turn and commit the exact same attack. these people are good at politics and "controlling the discussion" based on how they think it should be. watching the palin-mccain rally this morning all they did was attack obama and stir up fears. i hope that the democrats get just as deep and fight back. it may call for unpresadented actions. they may have to acknowledge things no politician ever has publicly. things considered taboo or off limits. i hope they take it to the next level. ah shit!  just heard on cspan 2 that sarah palin used marijuana when it was legal in her state!!! im watching the 2007 drug use & health survey on c-span 2. marijuana discussion or display is all over the media. marijuana is mentioned in almost every movie. phrasing: pro-life & pro-choice. pro-choice does not mean a person condones or is in favor or even supports abortions. it deals with the woman's right to choose. you can be pro-choice and pro-life. to be pro-life is to remove a right from people and women.
september 4, 2008 it hit me i need to get back to writing. youtube. video is not cost effective when it comes diseminating certain kinds and quantities of information. i got ideas. i love sarah palin. i disgaree with her on every major issue. the republican convention is on and they are no longer hiding their religious intentions. i knew there would be a pushback against the spread of atheism. but damn, the rebulican delegates are 93% white. right now as i type this joe gibbs is on c-span openly and praising god by name. i am excited for them. i love white girls. sarah. the music and band and audience reaction to the music. most people not dancing, and the ones that are none are on beat. contrast that with the democratic convention where the music was funky and damn near everybody there was groovin and on beat. that in itself is enough to vote democratic. republicans cant party, i cant watch it, it irritates me and very few things do, even if they are attrative females. no way in hell we are the same. race, breed, species- call it whatever, there is a clear difference between the "races." the olympics are all white people the first half, then track and field and its all african decent. the repubs love war. i remember one time they had a huge black tux dinner to commerate the begining of the strategic missle defense (star wars, reagan). cheney was there, everybody to celebrate a military project. they thankin god alot. hmmmmm maybe thats why mccain aint happy with there deal he made with evangelical america. wow. the sarah palin move was beautiful and magical. the news media wont let america forget about her pregnant daughter. first thing i said when i heard it was her was say i hope they dont find no dirt on her. i was hoping like hell that they were "smart" enough to picka clean candidate cause if they didnt it would ruin the integrity of the whole game. mccain aint no jesus freak mccain just lost the election for himself. his speech was terrible. this is a sarah palin party. conservative religious and gun clinging. this is about culture. plain and simple. cindy mccain showed some life in her speech and she was dancing to celebrate at the end for a second. sarah didnt look happy during mccains boring dry uncoordinated speech. i love the republicans huge big screen with the flag waving. i should have been blogging during the democrats convention. wow. they openly praised god and declared more than once that he is the most important thing. a god nobody has ever seen. how religious could they be, they made their fortune selling beer. alcoholic beverages, aint that a sin? i love joe biden, i always have. i thought he was best democratic candidate way back during the debates. him and obama are a mean ticket. there is not enough time during the day to be a parent to 5 children and work a 40 hr job. let alone be vice president. what kind of role model is that for a country's vice president to have a pregangt unwwed daughter? the traditional role of the mother is nurturer, thats why you can ask a woman who is a parent a question you wouldnt ask a man. some people find questioning sarah's motherhood ridiculous and dis- respectful. the role of the mother in a family is much more signifigant. talk about family values, if elected the vice president would be breaking these family values. somebody need to go after my beautiful sarah about this. i disagree with her on all the major issues, but i love what she is doing, how she is doing it and watching her do it. i said it a long time ago: black male, white female and culture wars. even the democrats were more religious. they seem to automatically say "god bless you and god bless america" at the end of every speech. i think it was soledad who said the democrats were the "secular" party. this is what attracted me and i may have not realized it until this convention when they tried to embrace god more. no mention of atheists or even "those who dont believe." we have got to get representation in politics, or at least recognized. there was nothing, not even a tv ad. i would like to see a simple "it also o.k. not to believe in god" nothing aggressive, just a mention of an alternative. they refer to  youngstown, ohio alot on msnbc when talking about the voters they believe who will determine the outcome of this election. will this or that work in scranton, pa ... i grew up there, born in western pennsylvania. it was them kind of white people at the repub convention. them plain, uncoordinated, stiff, unfunky, rhythmically challenged. god god god god war war war war fear i created a new favorites channels on my cable box of 4 channels: cspan, cnn, fox news and msnbc. i been into these conventions for 2 weeks straight now. i will have withdrawls, before then it was the olympics. well, the nfl season is starting. the republicans are so stiff and clumsy. they seem uneducated. or maybe educated, but not intelligent. something, still figuring that out. it may be there is a lack of education or modern sophistication. sumn. social conservatives, sarah. arrianna huffington said sarah palin believes in creationism! wow. i love this so much, its out in the open now. people taking sides, race and religion. 4:26pm mccain sold out the republican ticket to the fundys. thats why they didnt and dont like mmcain, he is not a devout intense born again christian. by putting palin in the vp position he put the christian fundamentals two steps from leading the nation. i love sarah, i still do but her voice is getting on my nerves. watching cnn and hearing her tell the story in the same kind of fear generating speeches has begun to irritate me. im all but moved to become more active in this election. i love her but i strongly disagree with her on every major issue. yeah, cnn is diggin into sarah palin's history and trying to find evidence based facts that support her sensational story.
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