thinking about it, it took more than a little bit for me to reach a point where i could be freely happy. i mean drop my guard- nothing bad is going to happen- you got shit covered- stop looking over my 
shoulder- relaxed carefree happy. hell it took decades. considering what i went thru and the resources it took to get me there it hits me why so few people can actually achieve this. for me it took more than a few separations from long standing traditional thinkings, a direct facing of fears that he into an inherent self confidence so high people could see it in my walk…
i mean there was a time and still are that i question why i am so happy. should i be? whats gonna go wrong? LOL i still have these fleeting moments but i use them as a reminder of just how “high” i can go and how high ive been. to go so long in my life without any real fears or apprehension. to go thru life threat free. or at least no fear of threat or attack
