there is a fine line i frequently cross separating playing “by yourself” and playing “with yourself.” i bet there is a clinical word and a diagnosis for how much i enjoy just doing things with me and the complete freedom and control that goes with it.
like today, i wore two different kinds of shoes just because i could and no one would or could say anything to me about it. that’s just one small example. the bigger ones are much more intellectually aggressive and even could possibly be dangerous to some people, and in ways that’s exactly what i’m shooting for…
every major institution and social rule rails against such autonomy, and i completely understand why.
i often am reminded that i am alone. “reminded” because i am mostly unaware that i am and it surprises me so to speak. i don’t feel alone, though i do very much enjoy an extended personal space and physical distance.
well, by my self or off to my self is more like it. “alone” feels to have a deeper meaning than what i think i mean. though, i am probably “alone” too!! LOL
some people feel that social media or “virtual” interaction does not count towards your aloneness rating. i don’t. some say that online relationships are not real. i don’t say that either. that you can’t really connect online. i think the best way to truly have communication is online remotely as it eliminates the physical component and places more emphasis on the content.