| december 4, 2003
from http://www.ship.edu/%7Ecgboeree/maslow.html ABRAHAM MASLOW 1908-1970 |
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creatures of function. creatures of struggle. with more and more experience i have all but come to the conclusion that humans NEED struggle and humans NEED a function. without one of these things in their life, they can become at least complacent and listless. i come to this conclusion from my own experience of periods of times when i have been all but completely satisfied and had no deep desires. periods of time when i WAS NOT hungry, horny, lonely or needing anything. i walk the streets and go through life at least believing that i can have anything or anybody that i want. this point i want to clarify- if it is true or not that i can have anything is not the point. the point is i truly believe and deeply feel that i can. over time this will have an effect on me. and it is having an effect on me. the up side is that just walking or existing can be extremely pleasurable. i can wade in an euphoria from knowing and understanding how special life and consciousness is. i have enough "free" mental time to truly and deeply appreciate how special life is. how special consciousness and the ability to be aware of one's self is. i think about "why are we here?" and "what are we?" and "what is the purpose of the universe?" and "what is the reason for the universe?" long periods of time to deep think and feel these questions and wonder. there is no fear, no apprehension. no sense of urgency that keeps living creatures on defense or energized. 99% of the time i feel im the dominant creature in the area physically, mentally and spiritually. i have no need to struggle, everything is easy and understood. almost eveything i see is explained within my philosophy. i have no fears. i have no enemies. there is no conflict. everything is easy... without desire for fame, wealth or to change the world. im very assured in my belief and philosophy. i believe that humanity could benefit from my understanding, but i have no urge to spread it. and i dont feel that this is something that should be sold or marketed. with the desire thing comes reward and ecstasy. you cant have ecstasy without desire. so everything that makes you happy comes from the fulfillment of a desire. love is the greatest feeling and provides the deepest ecstasy. is behind love man's deepest desires and needs for fulfillment? is everything that makes you happy a result of a need being fulfilled? so our happiness, love, ecstasy, etc all begin as an unfulfilled desire. we could not be happy without something negative such as a need. hunger, despair, loneliness. need for shelter, safety, warmth, stability. social and/or group approval. instinctive and physcial needs. without these negative things, would happy exist? what is happy without desire at the root? november 17, 2003 i'd like to test that theory no science? dexters labratory, cartoon network P-FUNK is my weapon of choice october 16, 2003 it seems moisture in the air makes it feel more comfortable. more warm to me. 7:10am at LAX i love everything about airports even ground transportation and while waiting for the shuttle in parking lot b i felt and realized how much more comfotable it felt down here close to the ocean and in the moist ocean air as opposed to the way it felt in the valley when i left. but one thing i digs about the valley is that its hot. i digs the heat and have learned thru experiecne that this time of the year is cold and i should dress and act accordingly. i have learned to close windows, dress warmer and even put the heat on as early as august when i even feel the slightest bit of cold. also my allergies seem to flare in the fall cold night air. also this time of year with the change of season no matter how subtle i would get depressed due to the reduction in sunlight and sun energy. what was my point. oh yeah, to get back writing regularly and to document at least a note of every experience so i will remember it. of course ill never note every experience and i dont want to say the "major" experiences cause all experience and existence is major. i got disconnected and it didnt save and i really didnt like that cause i had put down some good stuff. i think it was about how gray and cloudy and how i dont like the marine layer and how i like the valley cause its hot and sometimes when im down here it feels cold when most would say it aint. either way i hate loosing data so im saving a copy local and will push it up when ready. this internet connection via cellphone is cool but very ify. i also said that this is the season where i seem to do most of my writing. summertime or at least this summer i was so on the go i couldnt and didnt wanna document stuff. so there are experiences i know i may have forgotten (but am still benefited by the experience, lesson learned not forgotten just the event). anyways the mood is gone. 7:40a flight at 8:15 we should be boarding soon. coming thru security the guy says "youve done this alot before huh?' i was like yeah i knew the routine and wasnt shy about handling my business efficiently while others boggled around in the unfamiliarity of it all. 4:04 PM EST sittin in cincinnatti airport terminal waitin on connection to pit. extremely interesting conversation overheard on the flight here of which i slept a good part. cute older blonde sat next to me, but i wasnt into chattin of thin white girls. asian girl sittin across the way, cute in that frail weak asian kinda way. skinny, appears weak physically, mentally and spiritually. i dunno i could be wrong, i just know lately i aint been into weak people. so dainty, not so much timid but...new estimated time of departure of 5:30 was spose to be 4:30. oh well. this we had to catch a bus, yes an outside regular street bus to get from terminal a to terminal c. asian girl was young and cute and soft skinned with that flat face and them asian eyes. yeah, im gonna have to try one of them at least once. an americanized one prolly. anyways though i didnt feel like chattin overhearing an older country sounding chiropractor who prescribes urbs talk to a young graduate student workin in electro-biology or sumn. the young guy was droppin science in a manner that i could easily connect with. he was insightful and had a passion for what he was sayin. one line that i remember over hearing was "who's smarter god or man?' in relation to natural medicines vs engineered medicine. no reason for aging. human cells are programmed to die but there is no reason for it. he was saying cloning is archaic, sure it works but there is no reason for it. he said what happens is you put a 30 yr old's dna in a cell and what happens is a baby is created but the dna info or cell something is still that of a 30 yr older. he said he believes what happens in cloning is that it works 1 in 10,000 times cause maybe that 10,000 time they happened to use a stem cell which is the kind of cell needed for "proper" cloning. he inserting the nucleas into a cell always works, but the cell must be ready and able to handle the messages and information the nucleas is ready to deliver. without this proper relationship the cell dies. he believes stem cells are the true key. the old guy was fun and personable and talkative with a natural kind of country outgoingness. some genes are expressing later in life. they make them selves available only after a certain amount of years. i was so impressed with the young guy that i wanted to complimant him and give him a flyer but i digressed. later coming out of the c terminal i heard someone say something like "there you are again" and i turned and it was him but i had passed and missed him. i thought it coool and interesting as i never really entered into conversation with them. though the friendly old guy set me up for a comment or two that i made. he was passionate about stem cell research and did not like that it was banned in the us. he said people just go abroad and that stem cell research will happen and the developers and owners of the development will be proprietary or non-us. he said stem cells are cells around the fetus and supply it with food but is not the fetus. old guy said he was conservative but still believed in the womans right to choose. both agreed on population size and growth is a problem. and for the lost part i agreed with most both said. cute girl from india or the like just walked by. they are a attractive people just as the middle eastern and arabs, but they dont peak my interest for whatever reason. if i think about it, they have the skin and most got booty and they seem to have the fire and spirit that i like. maybe i should take a look...and they are much closer to being black than most and i believe the cultural differences may be less, as far as rhythm, dancing, and maybe even their views on religion...maybe its 5:03 PM EST now and im just ramblin. think i learned a trick with the cell phones internet access. when it seems ive lost internet access but am still connected to the phone, i hit "end" on the phone which takes it to the normal waiting display then i try to accessa webpage and the phone returns to the packet screen of trx and rec and the connection seems to reset itself. worked 3 or 4 times so far. im even online via AOL, laptop running on airport AC. seems a bunch of flights are oversold and they are compenating folx. guy sittin next to me flight got cancelled and they gave him another at 9pm and a $10 food voucher. i would definitely consider givin up my seat for compensation, like a free round trip... asian girl sittin there with her back to me all cute and soft americanized asian looking. one day im actually gonna talk to asian girl in that way and see whats it like. my new departure time is 5:40 PM EST now. i have the best life in the
world! its like when im keeping a beat with my hand
freeway 70 mph side by side funk may have been at the root of black gospel music, jazz, blues and
funk. im use to thinking of it as have been a sequential process- the later music being "because" of music
previous. like blues begat jazz begat funk or sumn like that with any two beats. if a beat remains off beat in relation to anothers groove, but precisely and exactly off beat, then that "off beat" will become a "new" groove in itself. then this means that any two beats which maintain a steady groove will at some level be in rhythm. so every steady beat (which is a groove) at some level is in rhythm with every other steady beat (groove). and if this somehow can be rationalized to include non-steady beats then everything at some level would be in rhythm with everything. in harmony with everything. by "at some level" i mean it may be take thousands of years for the "off beat pattern" to occur. it would take something at a level that could "step back" and see and observe and experience this event. like a comet or planets orbit, one of the infinite number of beats the earth makes with its orbit takes one year. and its infinite cause it can be observed or experienced from an infinite number of angles, times, relationships, conditions, dimensions, etc. a beat could be any event, interaction of matter and/or energy. any kind of phenomenon could be represented or seen as as a "beat" when im hittin a groove happy in traffic a culture im best familiar with and am learning if you are too
aggressively passionate about anything other than god or religion if you are too passionate about anything other god this may be the deepest reasoning i have about mankind's belief in god and religion. i have always felt something was "wrong" with believing in god but i never had deep reasoning or a reason deep enough to "compete" with the scale of religion. this self -realization / lunacy concept may be the highest point in my study, research and effort. its almost like all my effort has come to together at this one simple point at this moment. its culminated, but just at this moment. over time my efforts and study may become less focused and scattered as i pursue experience and learning. but right now, i feel like i have found an almost single point to focus on. and this point and focus will probably be the main point of my book. march 21, 2000
written while in rome, italy november 16, 2001
i wrote in a daily; september 2003
discovered in youngstown, oh. a journey through subjective experiences what i like about researching and finding ideas, people or theory that agree with my philosophy is that i dont have to do that part of the research again. i can build on existing research and ideas by understanding the theory and conclusions. also its a point of reference. i can refer to "popular" or widely known work that people already know and can locally reference. and also i can research for work that has been done on this point in the years and time that has passed.
august 31, 2003
so wide, you can't get 'round it ya' can't get over it one nation under a groove, funkadelic june 29, 2003 february 10, 1998 |