“The New jeffery” basically keeps to himself at work. It’s such a drastic change from “life of the party” jeffery it’s very noticeable.
I understand that my presence has a much more than the average person affect on those around me. But ya’ know I like the focus I’m achieving now. I also very appreciate the conservation of energy and time. Hell I’m amazed by how much time i was “wasting” engaging in my office antics and conversations. I’m glad that the old me established me as a very likable, fun, easy going and trustworthy guy, playful and not so serious even. But listening to the banter going on, the subject matter is like 4 miles behind me. Don’t get me wrong, it felt good and feels good to engage with co-workers and other human beings about not so important stuff every so often, this is how we build group social relationships. And It’s not so much a “Who cares,” as more of a “What difference does it make?” or “What’s the point?” The point is the engagement and camaraderie of humans in regards to social issues that feel relevant to them.
I am also in a different place than those around me. I’m single and not raising children. I’m also very aggressive in life as a whole. I am not ordinary and very possibly subconsciously & instinctively diametrically opposed to being so. When my kids were young I definitely played it more safe in life. My attitude is a tad different also. I feel with my every waking breathe I can have or correct anything I want. You won’t hear me complain or say I’m sorry. If I complain 2 times about something the 3rd time tells me it’s time to act on it. I’m too experienced, capable and responsible for the things that happen to me. Not so much around me, but that which happens “to” me or affects me.
Maybe I just want to be more serious. I haven’t been out socializing or dancing or live music in what feels like forever. I have no desire to. I LOVE LOVE LOVE being with and into myself. I’m relaxed yet productive and somewhat creative. Stuff is getting done. In fact yesterday may have been the first day in a zillion that I did not post a single thing to Facebook. I got nothing to say as every conversation seems mundane and so 3 years ago.
My job performance stats are thru the roof. I’m killing it work. In one of my animated moments as we looked at my strong performance last month, i told my boss of the new me and that the latest stats will be even better. She calculated them right then and they were.
I love people. I am fairly happy right now if not completely happy. This may be a new kind of happy for me to get use to. I never had a problem with stepping away from any group and doing my own thing, but I know the consequences of that as we are very social animals. Being above average but outside of the social circle. Setting a higher standard and wanting more when the prevailing group may not want all that.