work day 5 of 9 straight. mr. scale said 210.6 this morning, which is as low as it’s been in years. i was thinking with so much going on that i was “kickin’ ass” as far as life is concerned. that may be the case, but then i thought it’s more like i’m in a harmony with a lot of things simultaneously.
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…and i don’t mind one bit. i absolutely LOVE getting and being older. so far my physical is holding up as my mental capacity operates with greater efficiency from experience. knowledge is such power.
not only being comfortable with but celebrating the things i no longer worry or care about. freeing up time and mindspace utilizing the ability to confidently skip that or this and focus on the more important.
everything is relative. subjective to the individual. as i got older i realized that what i think or how i feel about something supersedes just about what other’s say or think. that doesn’t mean i don’t take in consideration everything thought or viewpoint i hear, it means i evaluate and make a determination. take in what i like, while discarding what i don’t all the while continually processing all ideas.
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i think the REAL problem now is the breakdown of communication between people who have strong and passionate opposing opinions. to the point that to be genuinely inquisitive as to why or what triggers another’s emotion that no one can learn or understand. there are different ways to help people. i chose to live as an example that no matter what it is you can rise above it. and there is no need to get blinded and lost in stuff that ultimately doesn’t matter. (matter is subjective as it should be). we all fight our battles where we are. i cant fight on a battlefield i’ve never been on.
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and yes, “in love” with it like it’s my girlfriend. come to think about it, “life” just might be my wife…
i used the word “wife” for the poetic effect of the rhyme, but the term seems too institutionalized or sum’n for what i mean. made me rethink the whole idea of “wife” and marriage. not that i’m against it, but i understand it’s for business purposes- to protect both parties in a proposed long term relationship. “girlfriend” can seem too casual in ways but has a warmer feel. (not a fan of the use of “partner” at all in these situations)
the relationship i’m in with life feels exclusive. by choice im finding that i want nothing and nobody in between me and life. some of my most precious time is being alone and inside my own head. walking into my apartment where there is no obligation to be outside of the realm of my own thought. don’t have to talk to nobody and don’t have to listen to nobody. don’t want to talk to nobody and don’t want to listen to nobody. a focus on my thoughts, ideas and ponderings. during this time right now that’s all i want to do. i’m not talking about being a hermit or separating my self from family or people. it’s the extended time in freedom of thought i cherish right now. Continue reading
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I almost forgot to moisturize my face today. WHEW!! Universe shattering disaster averted…
well, mr scale said 213.6 this morning. a number i’m not mad at, and possibly encouraged by. seeing how i went to sleep too early, woke up and had a in bed snack of UTZ Pub Mix and strawberry gooey cheesecakey stuff. it was sooooooo good. ate the salty and the sweet with fruit punch laying in bed watching a NFL network program about Paul Brown. i didn’t realize how great and what kind of impact he had on the game i most love. and he did it in Cleveland! then went to Cincinnati after the team that bears his name fired him. Continue reading
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the diversity of people, the craziness, hollywood, music, creativity, being in the mecca of the entertainment business- but being able to have a job outside of it. it don’t snow. its liberal in a sense of a social anything goes. the decadence of it- not las vegas decadent but close and far away enough from vegas!!! its a hustle out here and i like the somewhat chaos that hustle can present. some of the biggest opportunities can be found in chaos! LOL so many people are acting or playing a part to the point the part they are playing is real and viable. big city stuff but unlike NYC its spread out so you can drive and i love to drive and roadtrip. science and learning and the beaches and every time i go back home ain’t nothing like seeing places ive worked at or frequent on tv or in movies…
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worked til midnight last night and had to be back in the chair at 11:30am, so i didn’t get my usual extended hours of sleep. maybe that with a gloomyish day here in L.A. had me in a very less than excited mood compared to yesterday. assessing the situation later i felt i am happy, just not so excited. so i’m walking to work and on the corner was a girl giving out some kind of handouts and she had her happy bubbly turned up as she should. for a few microseconds i was annoyed by her what seemed to be out of place energetic energy. as i walked by i semi-smiled and told her “you too happy.” she smiled and laughed.
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being in a good mood makes everything better. who knew?
my happy does not exist in a vacuum. it CANNOT be produced without the interaction of EVERYTHING around me- that means good and bad. my happy is most probably based on how i handle and interpret the totality of reality. how i process life and how that determines my worldview. so when i wake up in the morning i’m already on the plus side of happy and have cultivated the capability, resources and opportunities to get more. i monitor and protect my happy. happy don’t come by accident, no matter how much one is given. happy has to be worked at on a very personal individual basis. NOBODY can just give you happy, and more than likely its something you have to “fight” to have (and definitely maintain).
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