DAILYS: October 20, 2000

october 20, 2000
im grumpy. i need jefferytime. all i can think about is pizza, couch, videos, internet (maybe)-
a nice ride listening to music of moderate movement to costco (large with extra sauce &
mushrooms), blockbuster video and then to an apartment where the only acknowledged
living thing other than myself is a plant. no obligation to do anything or see anybody for 2 days…
ofcourse, there is the webfest party or venice art show benefit with champa 51 performing tonight,
steeler game sunday morning, weapon of choice concert sunday night and another big hollywood
party monday, should i decide to partake…

when it comes to having time to myself and rest i am very sensitive. wondering why
i was so irrititable i looked back over the last week and realized i had only one
day to myself. friday night i was hanging out til 2 am, sunday started early at the bar watching
my pittsburgh steelers and ended (with no nap) eating in-n-out around midnight after the
santana concert. at work 7:30a everyday with energy flowing high 10 hours wednesday at
webfest…saturday was the only time i had to myself. i need some down time and i can’t wait-
call me a spoiled self-centered sissy if ya want and i may agree…

october 19, 2000
root canals rule!!!! now that all the swelling is gone so is all the pain.
that damn tooth had been nagging me for over a year. it was like i learned
to live with this slight pain. but now its gone!!! i can eat sushi and not
worry about biting down the wrong way and screaming. it is a pleasure
to be able to drink cold or hot stuff again. i dont have to do most of my
chewing on the right side of my mouth anymore…

i am vibrating/oscillating at the highest frequency i ever have. its 5am
and there is a buzzz in my body that wont let me sleep. the buzz of
excitement for normal everyday life. well, my normal life…
(everyday is christmas and every night is new year’s eve, sade)

i think people in the entertainment industry may also oscillate at a
higher rate. with more vibrant personality and energy (a higher consciousnous?)
i compare the vibe in this industry with that of accounting, banking or any of the
more “conservative” institutions. its a very different tone. different in nature.
(higher frequency waves have more energy and can transmit more information)

yesterday i worked in hollywood at a studio and i was able to be on set for
http://blairwitchwebfest.com. i enjoyed it so much that i wore myself
out like little a 4 year old does. i buzzed for like 10 hours straight and when
i got home my physical body was beat. working with vibrant attractive
people who come together to produce something big and challenging.
a fun spirited atmosphere where there is technology and healthy work
that leaves you with a feeling of accomplishement. where the people care
about the quality of their work. cool hats and catered lunches. an industry
where people dont shy away from meeting each other, outgoing people
introduce themselves and are willing to communicate and share.
very personable folx…ok, ok…they are mostly female. one girl even had her
dog there, just chillin walking around the office. airbody is coooooool.

there even was music and spirituality. champa 51 is a “tribal funk” band
that i was able to vibe. i was diggin on their message and was able to meet
and greet them (and get a cd that im listening to now). one song was about
the move from new york city to venice beach and how it is much more
spiritual out here. when i gave the lead singer my www.pfunk1.com card, she
started singing “make my funk the p-funk.” needless to say where my energy was.

also the drummer from jane’s addiction did a very very vibey set where
he played the drums and then transitioned to different persusiion and then
back to drums. he was backed with a trumpet player and a guy who switched
between different guitars and bass…it was good music that moved at different
vibes. i shooked his hand and also complimented him on the performance…
i took 142 pictures of the days events…

on my drive home thru hollywood, once again i found myself loving my life.
i mean, im in it!!! this is where i’ve always wanted to be and im here. my
life is living up to the dream, there is no anti climatic let down. i had been thinking
about the idea of  people “vibrating” and “oscillating” at different levels all day-
constructing theory in my head to explain the different natures of people.
i even sent an e-mail to someone about me vibrating at the highest level i ever have-
then when i get home, i read the following from the cd liner notes…

october 15, 2000
happy birthday daddy!!!! the man who has shown me more respect
than any other person i know, my father, had a birthday last week.
the only cuss words ive ever heard him say was hell, and that was once
when i was like 8 and we were visiting his “hang-out,” the lincoln lanes
bowling alley. he made a comment to his buddy “what the hell is this
stuff all over the floor?” or sumn like that. i still remember it. speaking
of bowling and discipline. this man bowled every thursday and played
bridge every monday for 30 years.

and every saturday during mary tyler moore and before carol burnet, me
and my sister would argue over who was gonna call him at the bowling alley
and ask if he could bring home a pizza. every week me and my sister did
this like we had never done it before, like it was something totally new.
recently i thought, daddy knew that we were gonna call. he could have
said that he’d bring one home before he left. but every saturday, one of
us would call, ask to speak to mr mitchell, you could here the guy go
“tell buddy telephone,” daddy would come to the phone and one of
us would go “daddy, could you bring home a pizza, please! please!”
every saturday we would sit nervously excited about the answer,
one of us on the phone, the other with our fingers crossed…

every sunday morning there would be two or three taps of a shoe
on the floor. that meant daddy wanted a cup of orange juice and
the sunday paper. and like saturday, every sunday it seemed like it
was a surprise to us both. you’d think we’d do it before he asked.
this maybe the only thing my father ever asked us to do exclusively
for his enjoyment or to indulge him.

i remember one night he brought home a new 1965 mustang. it was red.
it was red for only that night. next time i saw that car it was a much more
appropriate color for mr mitchell. the man never wore red.

there was always a radio in the bathroom and he would sing and talk
while he shaved and groomed, you could tell it was purely for his own
enjoyment. me and my sister both do that today. we even do comedy and have
mock conversations about stuff….and you can tell by listening that its soley
a conversation for entertaining ourselves.

i remember i got caught stealing some change and buying candy
at the store. im young so i have no idea that the guy at the store
would call my parents if i show up at his store with something
strange, like a whole bunch of fifty cent pieces. i got in major
trouble for that one, but not for stealing. i got it  for lieing. i
cant remember the words of the pre-beating speech or the pain
of his hand on my bare butt. i do to this day remember how
his words about lieing to him made me feel. and i never lied to
that man again.

ive made slight “evolutionary” modifications to the traits i got from
my parents, but i can see that i am a mix of the two. examples i think
of are my father’s discipline, mental/emotional  toughness, honesty and
intelligence- my father is very very smart. i softened the discipline a bit to
include more self pleasure (from mom’s side), discipline doesnt have to hurt.
i made the emotional toughness much more user friendly. the honesty has
developed into something that is still a non-negotiable rigid absolute necessity
and im smart as hell. i am a combination of these things and more.

he always took a lot of pictures, he was one of the few to have a
movie camera. i remember people saying “here comes buddy with
damn that camera.” he keeps his pictures up and away from everybody,
safe. i take alot of pictures too. i keep mine in a safe place that is off limits
to everyone. one thing my father always use to say was he wished the
pictures were organized, that when he started that he kept them in some
kinda order. evolution: my pictures are ordered by date and have a caption
of what they are about all the way back to sept 1992. i have an searchable
excel spreadsheet of my 30,000 digital pictures by date and subject.

we took trips every summer. niagara falls, wash dc, new york city, etc-
me and my sister were the only kids on our block to do that. this had a
major impact on our lives and has extended to my children’s lives. ex:
at 9 yrs old my daughter flew across the country by herself. even
without her brother!!! i saw what life was outside of youngstown, oh
at an early age so i never feared leaving that city. in fact, i always new
that i would….

my son,
I AM VERY PROUD TO SAY, is the only person on this planet that
i know who has the chance to be “better” than me. he has all these traits
already at 14, but he is much more subtle and less “obnoxious” about it.
i can remember asking him a no win “who do you like best” question. he was
like 9 yrs old  and he said “i like everybody.” he has skills, talent, intelligence,
an easy going personality that everyone likes (like me), honesty and he doesnt cuss.
(even his sister and friends says he doesn’t). he says grace before every meal
(discipline). he believes god created man and that evolution is “stupid.” “we didn’t
come from no monkeys.” at least the boy has opinion…he has a calm coolness
about him that is more like my father (and they both are left handed) than like me.
my daughter is the crazy one, she is smart- in a gifted school but she got
my craziness and a “look at me i did that” thang…she will be very special in
other ways. the way jeffery is going he could eventually be president.

thats evolution, passing skills and traits from generation to generation

so happy birthday daddy, you are the man…
like ive said, i never had a need to look to the sky for faith, guidance or god,
cause all that came home everyday around 5:30…
october 11, 2000
i never listen to the radio. but monday morning in between
switching tapes i peeped steve harvey’s morning show on
92.3 fm, an  “oldies” station. the brutha is funny and i
like his energy. he declared this average white band week,
so each day he plays one of their songs…monday it was
schoolboy crush, one of my all time favorites…
i missed yesterday, but today when i heard the first few
notes of  love of your own my energy went sky high.
this is my alltime favorite love song (slow jam). i been
listening to this one since puberty. one of the few times i’ve
heard this song played publicly was new year’s eve at the
red onion on wilshire with my fiance marci. we had just got
engaged when i surprised her a week before on xmas morning
when i gave her the ring…we danced and it was very very good.
and my memory of that song goes much deeper than even that

so. calfornia autumn is nice. the clouds (and smog) make for
gorgeous sunsets. the air has a crisp refreshing feel.
it aint as pretty as the back-east autumn trees,
but we dont get to rake all them leaves or shovel no snow…

the new netscape 6 beta is cooooool, morcheeba is coooool too…
i need to get technically serious for awhile. get microsoft certification for
sql server 7 & windows 2000 with some macromedia flash & redhat
linux on the side for kicks…

october 10, 2000
you know your life is good when

you even enjoy getting a root canal

october 8, 2000
my freedom is not only physical, meaning that its more than just being “allowed”
to do something. it also means im capable. i was slightly spirited last night after
writing the below. i think it to be good work and as i wrote it, the ideas were flowing-
i was in a writing zone and it felt good. as the thoughts hit me i was laughing outloud.
then i put on the sneaker pimps six underground (napstered, theme from tv show
titans) and it made me move. a very deep dance that felt so good i HAD to go out
to a club. so i got dressed and headed for yankee doodles in northridge.

here is the freedom part. the freedom to turn on a dime and go out in a public social
situation and enjoy it. able to go out alone and enjoy it. to go out unshaven, jeans,
shirt wrinkled and be totally comfortable, not worrying what people think or how i look.
i didnt have to go buy a new outfit, have a companion or prepare. its the freedom to
be mentally free on moments notice, for no planned reason.
free from self-imposed social hang-ups…

on the drive i listened to the long version funkadelic’s one nation under a groove (napster)
and then (not just) knee deep. the latter is my all time favorite studio created song and it
played as i pumped gas. by that time my energy was so high i was dancing at the gas station
at the corner of nordoff and topanga canyon so freely and spirited that people were honking
their horns and i could here girls shouting. i kept dancing deeper. it was a guinuine spirited
dance expressing how i feel about my life. i was in a semi-trance. i felt every note
of the music and the 20 yrs of menmories from those notes. different parts of my body hit
different parts of the beat. it was natural and the movement came without thinking so i couldn’t
get off beat. i was in a zone. as i left these girls in a truck drive in to the gas station and
complimented me on my groovin. i smiled and received their energy as they drove off.

i got inside yankee doodles and the dance floor was empty, the whole dance area was
empty. it didnt matter. i walked around looking at the folx shooting pool (stalling),
grabbed a diet coke and then returned. then the dance returned. i danced completely free.
it felt soo good. i knew people were watching me and that made me go deeper. i knew they
could see the happiness and freedom in my dance. they could see how much fun i was having.
(they could see how good of a dancer i am too!!!) and i didnt show off that much.

as the place filled up i continued to dance and space to the music in my own
world. looking at the girls, feeling the vibe, feeling the groove…eyes closed,
entranced hearing the people around me, feeling their energy and spirit.
the freedom to publicly express one’s happiness and release that energy
and spirit. this may be something that ive wanted to do all my life-
and now im here…

and now for sum’n elese
if ya’ll think these birds (crows) aint gaining consciousnous ya crazy.
i see social groups and communication. i see them working in teams.
more and more they are living closer with humans. and they are big!!
and they are loud!!! they are aware so they are less scared- they dont
fly away when a car or person comes close. they look and judge distance
and movement…and they are big!!!!

october 7, 2000
ok, i dont hide my beliefs about god and religion.  i don’t believe in the standardized
western civilization god and the whole dogma of it all tickles me. but, there is one
problem with the second coming of the messiah that even with all my wisdom i cant
figure out. if jesus does come back, what would he wear? i mean, would he wear a
suit? armani? imagine the marketing campaign you could launch if jesus wore your clothes!!!
everything he did and everything he touched would become immortalized and a
religous treasure.

if he comes back like the last time and is immaculately conceived, the hospital, his schools,
his doctors, his favorite play toy, even his dirty diapers would be enshrined…
there would be musems and holy temples for every drop of body fluid from every bodily
function jesus ever had…the “our lady of jesus spit here church”
(and i said “spit”)

would he surf the internet? i dont know about other web pages but the day after jesus
surfed my site there would be a banner the size of the ukraine on my page “jesus was here!”
and wouldn’t that make my webspace a holy place? and ofcourse i would have to retract
my “there is no god” statement, ooooops. i wonder if when he saw that he would just
zap me and i’d be gone. pooooof…”where’s jeffery?” “aint seen him since jesus got internet…”
would jesus get DSL? would jesus use napster? what music would he listen to?
so much for award shows, all the awards would go to whatever jesus liked…

he could shift the entire world’s economy just by window shopping…

would he smoke weed? imagine getting high with jesus…talk about trippin.
“hey yo dude, i must be trippin…i swore i saw samantha stevens”
jesus; “you did”

and what about the girls? jesus would definitelty be the most elgible bachelor of
all time. women would be throwing themselves at him like he was a walking wealthy
multiple orgasm that didnt leave in the morning and put the toliet seat down…and how good
would he be in bed?!!! imagine making love to jesus!! after him the rest is all down hill.
and try following that act. going to bat knowing the last person she made love to was jesus,
talk about pressure…and wouldn’t that then make her…a holy place? (excuse the play on words).
i wonder if he would…shout, i would consider a more liberal lifestyle to get some of jesus….

october 4, 2000
sade’s new single, by your side
http://sadeusa.com/byyourside/byyourside_ref.mov

october 4, 2000
Elizabeth Hurley Encourages Lusting
The Associated Press
Oct 4 2000 4:01AM ET

NEW YORK (AP) – Elizabeth Hurley says lust is one of her favorites
among the Seven Deadly Sins.

Writing in the November issue of Marie Claire magazine, the fashion
model and “Austin Powers” actress said, “A bit of lusting after
someone does wonders for you and is good for your skin.”

She said the only thing that got her through her high school chemistry
class was the boy who sat in front of her.

“I longed for moments when I could brush past him on the way to the
Bunsen burner or exchange lingering looks over our litmus test,” she
said.
go ahead elizabeth, i feel ya-
its my favorite too…(october 22, 1997)(may 9, 2000)

october 3, 2000
last night i couldn’t sleep so i got up around midnight,
grabbed my NT server book and did some reading about
multiple master domains and trusts…i still couldnt sleep
so i put on music from the movie the insider that i napstered
awhile ago (lisa gerrard of dead can dance), i got some cookies,
some drink and i pointed my telescope at jupiter…i think i
saw the planet and 4 moons this time. i also could barely
make out saturn encircled by its rings…

this is what i call a freedom. the freedom to do this kinda
thing without having to answer any “why” questions…as i sat
in the dark looking at saturn’s rings i appreciated the
freedom.  since there are no “why” questions, i can sink deep
into uninteruptted thought and reasoning…as i did, i asked
myself how much is this worth to me in dollars…

i asked this question to myself as if i was writing this daily.
i do that alot and thought it a bit strange at first. i would
think, observe and editorialize things in my mind as if
i was actually writing a daily to my webpage. my concern gave
way to the fact i considered it cool to have something to “talk”
or “write” to. like having a virtual companion to write at…
dialogue and reasoning is probably easier because of a
natural human understanding of having 2 points of view or
two sides to make things easier to verbalize or visualize-
or sumthin’ like that…
october 1, 2000
more olympic moments…
i hate missing a good party. watching the closing ceremony of the
olympics in australia, i can tell they partied on a world wide level.
is there any other time when so many people from all over the world
come together? 199 nations in one place, “a celebration of humanity”
i really wish i was there…watching the celebration im getting chills-
m jealous. superbowl XXX was the biggest celebration/event ive ever
attended and you could feel the spirit. imagine the spirit in sydney now.
in 4 years the games will be in athens, greece and right now im seriously
thinking about being there…35 year old german long jumper heike drechsler
at 5’11” 150 caught my eye as well as 40 yr old jamaican sprinter
whats-her-name…