DAILYS: December 4, 2003

These people were reality-centered, which means they could differentiate what is fake and dishonest from what is real and genuine. They were problem-centered, meaning they treated life’s difficulties as problems demanding solutions, not as personal troubles to be railed at or surrendered to. And they had a different perception of means and ends. They felt that the ends don’t necessarily justify the means, that the means could be ends themselves, and that the means — the journey — was often more important than the ends.

The self-actualizers also had a different way of relating to others. First, they had a need for privacy, and were comfortable being alone. They were relativelyindependent of culture and environment, relying instead on their own experiences and judgments. And they resisted enculturation, that is, they were not susceptible to social pressure — they were, in fact, nonconformists in the best sense.

Further, they had what Maslow called democratic values, meaning that they wereopen to ethnic and individual variety, even treasuring it. They had the quality called Gemeinschaftsgefühl — social interest, compassion, humanity. And theyenjoyed intimate personal relations with a few close friends and family members, rather than more shallow relationships with many people.

They had an unhostile sense of humor — preferring to joke at their own expense, or at the human condition, and never directing their humor at others. They had a quality he called acceptance of self and others, by which he meant that these people would be more likely to take you as you are than try to change you into what they thought you should be. This same acceptance applied to their attitudes towards themselves: If some quality of theirs wasn’t harmful, they let it be, even enjoying it as a personal quirk. Along with this comes spontaneity and simplicity: They preferred being themselves rather than being pretentious or artificial. In fact, for all their nonconformity, he found that they tended to be conventional on the surface, just where less self-actualizing nonconformists tend to be the most dramatic.

And these people had a certain freshness of appreciation, an ability to see things, even ordinary things, with wonder. Along with this comes their ability to becreative, inventive, and original. And, finally, these people tended to have more peak experiences than the average person. A peak experience is one that takes you out of yourself, that makes you feel very tiny, or very large, to some extent one with life or nature or God. It gives you a feeling of being a part of the infinite and the eternal. These experiences tend to leave their mark on a person, change them for the better, and many people actively seek them out. They are also called mystical experiences, and are an important part of many religious and philosophical traditions.

Maslow doesn’t think that self-actualizers are perfect, of course. There were several flaws or imperfections he discovered along the way as well: First, they often suffered considerable anxiety and guilt — but realistic anxiety and guilt, rather than misplaced or neurotic versions. Some of them were absentminded and overly kind. And finally, some of them had unexpected moments of ruthlessness, surgical coldness, and loss of humor.

Metaneeds and metapathologies

Another way in which Maslow approach the problem of what is self-actualization is to talk about the special, driving needs (B-needs, of course) of the self-actualizers. They need the following in their lives in order to be happy:

Truth, rather than dishonesty.
Goodness, rather than evil.
Beauty, not ugliness or vulgarity.
Unity, wholeness, and transcendence of opposites, not arbitrariness or forced choices.
Aliveness, not deadness or the mechanization of life.
Uniqueness, not bland uniformity.
Perfection and necessity, not sloppiness, inconsistency, or accident.
Completion, rather than incompleteness.
Justice and order, not injustice and lawlessness.
Simplicity, not unnecessary complexity.
Richness, not environmental impoverishment.
Effortlessness, not strain.
Playfulness, not grim, humorless, drudgery.
Self-sufficiency, not dependency.
Meaningfulness, rather than senselessness.

november 24, 2003

creatures of function. creatures of struggle. with more and more experience i have all but come to the conclusion that humans NEED struggle and humans NEED a function. without one of these things in their life, they can become at least complacent and listless. 

i come to this conclusion from my own experience of periods of times when i have been all but completely satisfied and had no deep desires. periods of time when iWAS NOT hungry, horny, lonely or needing anything. i walk the streets and go through life at least believing that i can have anything or anybody that i want. this point i want to clarify- if it is true or not that i can have anything is not the point. the point is i truly believe and deeply feel that i can. over time this will have an effect on me. and it is having an effect on me. 

the up side is that just walking or existing can be extremely pleasurable. i can wade in an euphoria from knowing and understanding how special life and consciousness is. i have enough “free” mental time to truly and deeply appreciate how special life is. how special consciousness and the ability to be aware of one’s self is. i think about “why are we here?” and “what are we?” and “what is the purpose of the universe?” and “what is the reason for the universe?” long periods of time to deep think and feel these questions and wonder.

there is no fear, no apprehension. no sense of urgency that keeps living creatures on defense or energized. 99% of the time i feel im the dominant creature in the area physically, mentally and spiritually. i have no need to struggle, everything is easy and understood. almost eveything i see is explained within my philosophy. i have no fears. i have no enemies. there is no conflict. everything is easy…

without desire for fame, wealth or to change the world. im very assured in my belief and philosophy. i believe that humanity could benefit from my understanding, but i have no urge to spread it. and i dont feel that this is something that should be sold or marketed. 

with the desire thing comes reward and ecstasy. you cant have ecstasy without desire. so everything that makes you happy comes from the fulfillment of a desire. love is the greatest feeling and provides the deepest ecstasy. is behind love man’s deepest desires and needs for fulfillment? is everything that makes you happy a result of a need being fulfilled? so our happiness, love, ecstasy, etc all begin as an unfulfilled desire. we could not be happy without something negative such as a need.

hunger, despair, loneliness. need for shelter, safety, warmth, stability. social and/or group approval. instinctive and physcial needs. without these negative things, would happy exist? what is happy without desire at the root?

november 17, 2003

i’d like to test that theoryno science?
without science, what else is there?
boys

dexters labratory, cartoon network

november 4, 2003

P-FUNK is my weapon of choice
Posted by PFUNK1 on 11/3/2003, 2:08 pm

mcdonalds drive thru youngstown ohio after
my son’s high school team got knocked out the playoffs
some under 30 sumn dude is behind me bumpin aqua boogie

maybe where y’all from this aint no biggie but the
places i be at it aint often i hear the original
non-mixed versions of p-funk music in the car next to me.
so when i go home and i hear the music that is so
dear to me being played by others im moved

wearing my PFUNK1 jersey for the last 2 days thru
airports and on airplanes im back home at LAX
baggage claim and who do i see? lige curry. he walks
by the second time and i ask “do you play bass?” and as he
says yes with a curious look of “who…” i spin
and point to the P-FUNK on my back and he says
“oh yeah, you the guy with the websites. byrd on his way down too.”

so im at LAX chattin it up with blackbyrd about his new
project and nobodyuknow.net and his demo cd he
gave me a few months back that i like very much,
with lige about his local projects and such and
lily hayden (she is tiny) i told i enjoyed her
solo with dakah during their cover of parliaments
come in out of the rain i saw them do at california plaza
and she tells blackbyrd he might dig the dakah thang
and i say dakah is lonnie and double g and them from the band
weapon of choice that he has sat in with before…

P-FUNK is sooooo much more than just the music.

there is a funkadelic song that says there are no coincidences

i get to my car with the PFUNK1 plates and the music
that came on the tape i left in the deck was a
nickel bag of solos and as im sitting there burning
one during byrd’s solo i think, i was just talking to them!!!!!!!

thats alright, im cool. you can keep your heaven.
i like what i got going on down here just fine

october 16, 2003

it seems moisture in the air makes it feel more comfortable. more warm to me.7:10am at LAX i love everything about airports even ground transportation and while waiting for the shuttle in parking lot b i felt and realized how much more comfotable it felt down here close to the ocean and in the moist ocean air as opposed to the way it felt in the valley when i left. but one thing i digs about the valley is that its hot. i digs the heat and have learned thru experiecne that this time of the year is cold and i should dress and act accordingly. i have learned to close windows, dress warmer and even put the heat on as early as august when i even feel the slightest bit of cold. also my allergies seem to flare in the fall cold night air. also this time of year with the change of season no matter how subtle i would get depressed due to the reduction in sunlight and sun energy. 

what was my point. oh yeah, to get back writing regularly and to document at least a note of every experience so i will remember it. of course ill never note every experience and i dont want to say the “major” experiences cause all experience and existence is major. 

i got disconnected and it didnt save and i really didnt like that cause i had put down some good stuff. i think it was about how gray and cloudy and how i dont like the marine layer and how i like the valley cause its hot and sometimes when im down here it feels cold when most would say it aint. either way i hate loosing data so im saving a copy local and will push it up when ready. this internet connection via cellphone is cool but very ify.

i also said that this is the season where i seem to do most of my writing. summertime or at least this summer i was so on the go i couldnt and didnt wanna document stuff. so there are experiences i know i may have forgotten (but am still benefited by the experience, lesson learned not forgotten just the event). anyways the mood is gone. 7:40a flight at 8:15 we should be boarding soon. coming thru security the guy says “youve done this alot before huh?’ i was like yeah i knew the routine and wasnt shy about handling my business efficiently while others boggled around in the unfamiliarity of it all.

4:04 PM EST sittin in cincinnatti airport terminal waitin on connection to pit. extremely interesting conversation overheard on the flight here of which i slept a good part. cute older blonde sat next to me, but i wasnt into chattin of thin white girls. asian girl sittin across the way, cute in that frail weak asian kinda way. skinny, appears weak physically, mentally and spiritually. i dunno i could be  wrong, i just know lately i aint been into weak people. so dainty, not so much timid but…new estimated time of departure of 5:30  was spose to be 4:30. oh well. this we had to catch a bus, yes an outside regular street bus to get from terminal a to terminal c. asian girl was young and cute and soft skinned with that flat face and them asian eyes. yeah, im gonna have to try one of them at least once. an americanized one prolly.

anyways though i didnt feel like chattin overhearing an older country sounding chiropractor who prescribes urbs talk to a young graduate student workin in electro-biology or sumn. the young guy was droppin science in a manner that i could easily connect with. he was insightful and had a passion for what he was sayin. one line that i remember over hearing was “who’s smarter god or man?’ in relation to natural medicines vs engineered medicine.

no reason for aging. human cells are programmed to die but there is no reason for it. he was saying cloning is archaic, sure it works but there is no reason for it. he said what happens is you put a 30 yr old’s dna in a cell and what happens is a baby is created but the dna info or cell something is still that of a 30 yr older. he said he believes what happens in cloning is that it works 1 in 10,000 times cause maybe that 10,000 time they happened to use a stem cell which is the kind of cell needed for “proper” cloning. he inserting the nucleas into a cell always works, but the cell must be ready and able to handle the messages and information the nucleas is ready to deliver. without this proper relationship the cell dies. he believes stem cells are the true key.

the old guy was fun and personable and talkative with a natural kind of country outgoingness.  

some genes are expressing later in life. they make them selves available only after a certain amount of years. 

i was so impressed with the young guy that i wanted to complimant him and give him a flyer but i digressed. later coming out of the c terminal i heard someone say something like “there you are again” and i turned and it was him but i had passed and missed him. i thought it coool and interesting as i never really entered into conversation with them. though the friendly old guy set me up for a comment or two that i made. 

he was passionate about stem cell research and did not like that it was banned in the us. he said people just go abroad and that stem cell research will happen and the developers and owners of the development will be proprietary or non-us. he said stem cells are cells around the fetus and supply it with food  but is not the fetus.

old guy said he was conservative but still believed in the womans right to choose. both agreed on population size and growth is a problem. and for the lost part i agreed with most both said.

cute girl from india or the like just walked by. they are a attractive people just as the middle eastern and arabs, but they dont peak my interest for whatever reason. if i think about it, they have the skin and most got booty and they seem to have the fire and spirit that i like. maybe i should take a look…and they are much closer to being black than most and i believe the cultural differences may be less, as far as rhythm, dancing, and maybe even their views on religion…maybe

its 5:03 PM EST now and im just ramblin. think i learned a trick with the cell phones internet access. when it seems ive lost internet access but am still connected to the phone, i hit “end” on the phone which takes it to the normal waiting display then i try to accessa webpage and the phone returns to the packet screen of trx and rec and the connection seems to reset itself. worked 3 or 4 times so far. im even online via AOL, laptop running on airport AC. seems a bunch of flights are oversold and they are compenating folx. guy sittin next to me flight got cancelled and they gave him another at 9pm and a $10 food voucher. i would definitely consider givin up my seat for compensation, like a free round trip… 

asian girl sittin there with her back to me all cute and soft americanized asian looking. one day im actually gonna talk to asian girl in that way and see whats it like. my new departure time is 5:40 PM EST now. 

i have the best life in the world!
as i walked on the plane who did i see sitting in the seat next to mine? i say it all the time, its the little things that make life heaven…

october 14, 2003

its like when im keeping a beat with my hand
and another other beat with each foot

over years of dancin and groovin i have gotten so
i can fall into a groove where keeping 3, 4,
or more “beats” at one time on a groove
comes without effort
(let alone when i get that neck thing goin)

its when im “trying” to keep that next beat.
when im deep in holdin 4 beats and go for 5.
then for 6. the longer the groove the more
reptitive the motions the deeper the more
beats i can hold.

its when i can mentally step back and feel my
“unconscious?” physcal body keeping all these
rhythms. and i can feel my body in groove.

it feels good, it is a kind of natural euphoria

sometimes i believe that if anybody could move
their body like that they would always. and i do.
my rhythm shows up in my walk, the way i carry myself,
gestures, mannerisms. all on a groove.

or when im holding multiple beats and i can
consciously double beat on one of the beats.

its like im creating time. im creating an extra experience
of time. while holding multiple beats i can insert another
beat which or imagine triple beating a beat. i can imagine
it but really arent able to make the body movement or even
sing or say it, but i can think it.

if the groove lasts long enough i can ever so slightly
move my neck muscles (not even enough to move my neck),
maybe stimulate is a better word on this imagined beat

freeway 70 mph side by side

october 14, 2003

funk may have been at the root of black gospel music, jazz, blues and funk. im use to thinking of it as have been a sequential process- the later music being “because” of music previous. like blues begat jazz begat funk or sumn like that

i know earlier music influenced music that came after it cause the people who create new music listen to
and are influenced the current music.

but the funk inside the creators and makers of “new” music is the “same”

funk was the primary cause of them all
just at different times

and though what maybe eventually became funk had roots in africa
i believe funk is black american in origin
and i dont mean just the term funk or the music

it may be an attitude, spirit and rhythm combined
with a western consciousness. a western aggressiveness and nature.

african
consciousness and/of oneness
capability of deep mental spirituality
rhythm ability
happy spirit
passion, emotion
song, dance

western caucasian
aggressive nature
a mean mental toughness
a type of violent nature

ability to cause harm/pain. i seem to believe that the
ability to do harm to a fellow member of the species is
something that had to evolve into an animal and man. and i
know im wrong for it but i believe this nature came from
caucasians. black people can be ruthless no doubt, but it
seems to be of passion. it seems black people by nature
are pre-disposed to hurting or harming another. though
they are capable of great acts of violence.

caucasian or white people and maybe just the white
american male seem to have no problem inflicting harm
on another or animal. it seems easy for them to kill.

a black man will kill you if he is wronged
and it would be of passion and anger. white male
seems to be able to kill without this anger. as they
are not a passionate part of our species.

this was catalyst by 
WHAT IS FUNK & WHERE DID IT COME FROM ? (Lesson 1)
from thefunkstore.com

october 11, 2003

with any two beats. 

if a beat remains off beat in relation to anothers groove, but precisely and exactly off beat, then that “off beat” will become a “new” groove in itself. 

then this means that any two beats which maintain a steady groove will at some level be in rhythm.

so every steady beat (which is a groove) at some level is in rhythm with every other steady beat (groove). 

and if this somehow can be rationalized to include non-steady beats then everything at some level would be in rhythm with everything. in harmony with everything. 

by “at some level” i mean it may be take thousands of years for the “off beat pattern” to occur. it would take something at a level that could “step back” and see and observe and experience this event. like a comet or planets orbit, one of the infinite number of beats the earth makes with its orbit takes one year. and its infinite cause it can be observed or experienced from an infinite number of angles, times, relationships, conditions, dimensions, etc. 

a beat could be any event, interaction of matter and/or energy. any kind of phenomenon could be represented or seen as as a “beat”

october 9, 2003

when im hittin a groove happy in traffic
and i look over and can see the happy they
got from seein me gettin it. especially the
children cause they are more open with there
expressions. that happy wow that is cool eyes
lit up facial expression

when a human being sees another human being
outwardly displaying happiness in a way he
feels geniune and non-threatening they cant
help but be touched by it. and feel it

when im driving it to the point now i can
“put it on” them. look them in the eyes
driving and staying dead on a beat as our
cars pass or travel side by side.

i snap my fingers high so they can see
me specially the ones behind me already
lookin and my PFUNK1 license plate and
homemade PFUNK1.COM bumper sticker.

i know not to look directly at them cause
they will look away. so ive almost learned to
sense them in my peripheral vision. i want to
keep their attention on my beat and groove.

its not a fast beat and its a groove i have
noticed most white people are either not aware
of and/or never experienced live. it definitely
has to do with tempo. when an animal moves at
this tempo it means something instinctively.

my tempo can be a “serious” one. a tempo of
a strong stalking animal maybe. or the tempo
of the music in movies when evil or danger is sneaking
up on something. when i have their attention
and they are relaxed enough not to look away,
thats when i can put it on them.

get their attention and them on a beat with
the finger snap. while maintaining that beat
i add another beat on the same groove with head
and neck movement. groovin solidly but semi-
subtlely on the beat.

and just being on beat like this feels good
to my body. the ability to move on beat
and maintain a groove is physically pleasing.

it could be a tempo like on “the goose” not
fast or slow but a determined in between
groove that looks like this animal is serious

i think american black music has an aggressiveness
that no other has. even the “hard” african funk ive
heard the music gave a tone that it was “asking”
to express itself. where as black american funk
the music itself feels like this animal aint fuckin
around.

2003 black gospel music is funkier than 2003 funk music
(and more and more the mesage is love and peace as opposed to jesus and lord)

and dont let her be a passenger with her
boyfriend driving. i look over in a groove,
she smiling and trying to feel the beat,
he speed away.

and then i can feel that motor booty affair
happy bouncy groove and be keeping 4 or 5
beats at the same time with different parts
of my body and movement. in a strong, determined,
agile, precise, seriously happy groove.

a for real happy. not a silly happy. a deep
happy that is on a level of spirituality.
this happy is not a game. its important
and signifigant. it is intense but thats not
what i mean. this happy has a magnitude of
signifigance.

future my in the black church? a part of the
black church? black folx are so religious they
are scared to even discus anything anti-religion.
but they are better than hispanics who are so very
religious they seem as if they know nothing else. i say this
cause right or wrong it seems the mexican and
hispanic people i know are not into the sciences.
its takes generations of exposure to the sciences
for it to get to the point where it can influence
a persons life just like religion.

the music, the people, the style, the culture
of the black church. those are my people.

a culture im best familiar with and am learning
to operate within better more and more.

september 27, 2003

if you are too aggressively passionate about anything other than god or religion
its almost considered a lunacy, and that limits man’s conscious growth

its kinda seen as religion and god is the limit,
we cannot go beyond that understanding

so we have no deep fervor for life
we are taught that our most fervor
has to be for god. so we dont passionately
love or seek life and existence or anything else
with the fervor we seek god.

our ultimate survival, the continuance of carbon based life
or even the survival of our universe may depend on mankind’s
ability and accomplishment. this “fervor” may be needed
if man or maybe even the universe is to succeed in the
grandest sense of things.

if you are too passionate about anything other god
you will be looked upon as strange. but in the name
of god you can be as passionate as you wish in the
bigger sense of things.

this may be the deepest reasoning i have about mankind’s belief in god and religion. i have always felt something was “wrong” with believing in god but i never had deep reasoning or a reason deep enough to “compete” with the scale of religion. this self -realization / lunacy concept may be the highest point in my study, research and effort. its almost like all my effort has come to together at this one simple point at this moment. its culminated, but just at this moment. over time my efforts and study may become less focused and scattered as i pursue experience and learning. but right now, i feel like i have found an almost single point to focus on.

and this point and focus will probably be the main point of my book.   

march 21, 2000 written while in rome, italy
st peter’s is built on such a large scale that if it was about anythng else  other than god it would be considered lunacy– this is when i first thought the “lunacy” concept.  

november 16, 2001 i wrote in a daily;
“believing in and giving credit for the world and everything in it to something that doesnt exist.  crediting a non existing entity for something we and the hominids that came before us are  responsible for.” “im getting excited. i feel like im getting to the basic core problem with religion. it erases the accomplishments of humanity. thats low self esteem on a macro level!! generation upon generation told they are bad and worthless. that everything good comes from god. that man is bad. all through my childhood i went to church and heard people thank god for everything in their lives, even waking them up that morning. man strips himself of all power and accomplishemnt!!!! this is not a lie cause the people preaching this truly believe it. this is the distribution of mis-information on the grandest scale. ”

september 2003 discovered in youngstown, oh.
“Atheists such as Ludwig Feuerbach held that God was a projection of human ideals and that recognizing this fiction made self-realization possible”
© 2002 Encyclopædia Britannica, Inc. atheism (online ready reference)

a search a week later leads me to:
“not only injures the moral sense, but also “poisons, nay destroys, the divinest feeling in man, the sense of truth” Ludwig_Andreas_Feuerbach

 a journey through subjective experiences 

what i like about researching and finding ideas, people or theory that agree with my philosophy is that i dont have to do that part of the research again. i can build on existing research and ideas by understanding the theory and conclusions. also its a point of reference. i can refer to “popular” or widely known work that people already know and can locally reference. and also i can research for work that has been done on this point in the years and time that has passed. 

august 31, 2003

so wide, you can’t get ’round it
it’s so low you can’t get under it
so high, you can’t get over it

ya’ can’t get over it

one nation under a groove, funkadelic

june 29, 2003

february 10, 1998
from information comes knowledge, from knowledge understanding-
and understanding is the key to every lock in the universe.
-i just made that up…

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