Subjective Experience Febuary 17, 2001

jan 26, 2001 orange county performing

arts center

ms graves is a world famous mezzo soprano and this was opera in its

purest form.

it was very very very formal. it was very dry. she and her pianist

seemed to snooty,

too uptight, too holier than thou. but i guess thats what she is spose

to be: a true

diva. i may have been slightly  moved by her falsetto sounding

voice once, but never

tingled. the deepest most body tingly parts were the piano. as certain

songs closed

with her voice very smoothly trickling down, the whole auditorium would

be silent

as the last vibrations of the last note of the piano faded away. this

was the coolest

part. the stillness & silence of the 2000+ crowd  focused

on the faint fading note 

was good. and it was the only thing even close to being moving.

this performance was so dry and formal that when she did her encores

and really

went crazy (for her i guess) it was the only time the her voice or

music had 

movement or conveyed some form of life or something. even when she

hits a note

hard and with a lot of energy it comes off weak beacuse of that opera

waving

falsetto. like she imitating a toy doll singing. it sounds too fake

to be real.

but if ya talk about hitting a demographic that would appear my type,

you talking 

about her. 36 years old, brown-skinned, right mix of black and white

facial 

stucture and features (forhead, cheekbones, lips, eyes and mouth were

almost 

what i would call a perfect combination of the best features from those

2 races),

she had body (booty, maybe too much), she had that white girl straight

look but

with thick- just nappy enough to make it thick black girl type hair.

on a flyer is a 

picture of her laid-out and she even got the right legs and feet. arms

were more

black and her walk and attitude were definitely more black. she had

a walk that

looked like she lifted weights- shoulders thrown back, strong.

anywayz, i was on the 2nd tier!!! it been years since ive been this

far from the stage,

i didnt even know these levels existed. got my ticket thru ticketclub

so i cant 

complain. kinda enjoyed being back up and away looking on the orchestra

section where i usually am. but i had a direct view and the acoustics

are top notch.

the ushers tell me tier 3 i best for music. as i think about it, maybe

they way and

angle its jets out towards the stage may make that true.

gentlemens club feb 2, 2001

while i was waiting outside the club for my boys, i happened to glance

up right into

the face of my favorite girl. she’s from montreal and has a nicely

proportioned build.

cute slight accent…i let her see i was surprised and happy to see

her, no doubt she 

knew i recognized her. talking to her in the club she said she likes

dead can dance.

the music the girls dance to is good. i always digs the music. and

the food in this place

is also really really good. the diet coke (bottled water and soft drinks

are $5 cause 

the club is fully nude so they cant serve any alcohol) is really good.

but the service 

is non-existent.it takes a hour to get a hamburger. seems like everybody

running the 

place is russian and they are cool. the girls are cool too. i chatted

briefly with a girl 

from paris too.  i so love female. i wish i could sketch in the

place…

feb 3, 2001

walking on empty campuses is nice & quiet, peaceful, serene. 

goregous crisp morning unlv campus, very few people, huge open areas,

trees,

nice breeze…this is a very good show. it was modern art. mostly manipulated 

photography making the usual political and social statements. 

the most signifigant thing that happened is this maybe my first time

ever identifying 

with russian male. everybody knows of my passion for russian female,

but i never 

have really gotten close enough to understand the male. there were

things in this 

exhibit created by russian male that showed a common consciousness

ive never

seen in him before. it was cool.

i was totally all alone, completely empty gallery. able to stretch and

vibe and deep

think while being stumulated by the works in the gallery. i was literally

stretched

and danced in the vibe around me. they had a life size stuffed

polar bear which had to be about 8 feet tall and was very impressive.

i walked up

to the polar bear from siberia, looked up at him and said “i can see

why they would

call you a god”

vegas museum 
photos

feb 3, 2001

this is a museum of post modernism art or something. the exhibits was 

modern photography by stillman. very colorful. using modern photographic 

techniques to bring out deep rich modern priniting coloring. uses different 

techniques to manipulate light and create abstract art. the museum

is a nice

drive from the strip, so you get away from that feeling. 3 huge gymnasium

sized 

rooms in gallery. high ceilings, practically empty. 

cool to vibe the total rooms art work undisturbed. to be surrounded

by these bright 

abstartct prints from up to 50 feet away. lots of deep reds and blues.

soliel – mystere feb 3, 2001 las vegas, nv

cirque is the best. so deeply spiritual that i dont want to begin to

describe it.

seat was front row balcony. i could see the whole stage and theatre.

this maybe a 

better seat than being up close cause things are happening all around

you and the 

closer your back is to the wall the more in your periphal vision. anywayz,

my favorite 

was the red rooster chicken girl. so much sensuality and sexuality

in her movement. 

so much graceful energy and power. strong physical attitude. 

carlo 
photos

feb 3, 2001 las vegas, nv

had a good art day, a good meal, a good nap and had just left cirque

so i was

feeling good. did a couple of laps up and down the strip taking pics

and looking at

folx when i saw the statues at monte carlo. so i self-park, grabbed

my clipboard and

pencil, camera and make way to get closer.

i love vegas. i love walking right down the middle of the hottest aisles

at a pace just

slow and fast enough to grab everybodys attention. i am looking back

eye to eye at

everyone. i hit the pit bosses and suits eye to eye. all the girls,

the women, the wives

and the husbands. a walk of complete and relaxed confidence. slight

smile non 

threatening with a very strong deep confidence. so deep its evident

there is no

threat.

i walk through monte carlo, grab a diet coke and get outside to the

stautes. 

i so love female. i am driven to do this. its a cool crisp night. lots

of different colors

of light. flashing vegas. continous sound of flowing water foutain

behind me

huge gorgeous statues. female in flight, female in motion. i could

sit for hours and do

this. dont have time or stamina for great detail tonite. feet, legs,

hair. on pedastal and 

spotlit. 1am, clipboard, pencil, diet coke…

after chilling out there for about an hour or so im strolling back thru

the casino to my

car when i hear a beat. mid-tempo rap type beat. i investigated. it

was like 2am, im 

tired, dude said $10 and there is only about an hour left. the music

was good though, 

i was going. monte carlo pub & brewery. lots of white girls, mostly

26-30. hispanic

sexy girls. (dont remember any black girls now that i think about it).

just like at the

steeler-game, the music was softened hardcore rap with a simple bassy

tight groove.

i was too tired to stand up so i chair danced. i sat in my chair and

laughed to myself

as i really question could i dance standing up. my legs were beat.

it was cooool.

to be worn out from the stimulation from of being close to things that

you love.

i did get up and groove a bit, i even showed off a bit…

art museum feb 6, 2001

this museum is located about a half block from a very very scenic view

of the ocean.

pacific coast highway laguna beach is beautiful and there are a lot

of galleries and 

art in this area. there is a blur for the novice like me between what

places are

for viewing and what places are for selling. both of which can fall

under the heading

“gallery.”

the “one minute of your time” exhibit was cool cause they had samples

of many 

different types of styles and had handout with a brief description

of each. about 20 

styles from early california to neoconceptualism, it was cool and informative.

museum feb 6, 2001

i have to admit i like impressionism. i like the slight blur of reality

to convey deeper

emotion and focus. i like the fact that most of it is reality based

and non-fiction. there

is a true sense of reality in the style with a fantasy blur. this museum

specializes in 

impressionism, especially california. also plein air paintings.

the paintings were good. oil and canvas and some good watercolors by

marion 

wachtel. the museum is on the 12th floor of an office building no straight

and clean

you cant eat in it (and feel funny doing so). the view of orange county

was good but

it was strange viewing art in an office type setting

waltz feb 6, 2001

the way the moves and gestures in ballet are meant to be smooth and

soothing, the

movement in this performance is meant to be edgey, stinging and shocking.

they

were movements meant to trigger strange emotions.

like a shark can tell by movement in the water when another fish is

hurt, the 

movements often were like the person was hurt or in pain. the moves

violent, 

sad, showed anguish, pain, despersation and dysfunction. it showed

blind

regiment and routine.

the performers had the physical ability of dancers so they could do

the jerky

emotional movements well. show violent anger.

dealt with spousal abuse, rape, sex.perversion

the setting was th huge housing projects in berlin and how all the aprtments

were

the same and the couch would be in the same place but the people were

very

different. the settings the same in many of the thousands of apartments

but the lives

were vastly different. the show started and ended with a violent scream

the girls were deliberately dressed to expose their panties. i believe

it was meant to

touch the little nasty schoolboy in me and it did. there was a pure

lust scene where 

the girls were bent over with their head and two feet as legs of a

tripod. the girls 

vagina (under the panties) was facing directly at the audience. they

did synchronized

movements in this position with their head, shoulders and arms. the

movements were

meant to be perverse and show a despair cause of stagnation, routine.

my favorite girl started in panties and a tight tank top, like she was

dressed for bed. 

beautiful bare feet, strong goregous legs, nipples thru her shirt.

it was distracting at

first she was so attractive…white girl or itallian, not skinny very

well proportioned.

show was an hour no intermission, very very very stimulating, intense.

i sat 6th row far right. many times i was still digesting what i had

just seen during 

the applaud breaks so i just sat there kinda numb.

very very very very creative and innovative

people walking on walls, very clever use of props, use of a board

use of audio and video

use of broken music. hard non rhythms with hard jerky body movements

disturbing but very stimulating

7, 2001 skirball cultural center

mr moody has written many novels, one of which “the ice storm” became

a movie

that i did like with cristina ricci. he read two selections and the

coolest thing about

him was that he was cool. he had a really relaxed attitude. the subject

matter of

the stories he read was stimulating in that he hit sharp issues; masturbation,

drugs,

death in a kinda rollercoaster ride of emotion from humorous to sad.

of what i saw

of the mostly closed skirball center it is a beautiful place. mostly

in attendance was

the stereo typical middled aged white female. (and looking very ordinarily

good 

as they usually do).

and juliet feb 8, 2001 ahmanson

this was pure elizabethean shakespeare (im not actually sure what that

means). it 

seemed to be done using the original wording, dialect and language

it was written in.

a good chunk of the time i didnt understand what was being said. i

could get a sense

of the mood and nature of what the characters were doing in any particular

scene. 

i also got a sense of the play and production as a whole. what the

people who came 

to see this play in the 1500’s liked and what they expected to see.

ticketclub: half price mezzaine (was 49.50 for seat only at boxoffice,

i paid 30.50 

including service charges). first row balcony center. i was high up

and directly in front

of the stage. directly in front of me was a 3 foot high balcony wall,

i had legroom.

under me was the orchestra and leaning towards the wall i overlooked

all the beautiful

female in orchestra seating. 

my angle of view of  the stage was like i was watching as a supernatural

being. as if i 

was looking down and into on the lives of these people. i was centered

and elevated

so the stage compeletly filled my view. i could VERY comfortably see

the entire 

production.

walking out of the parking garage i look up and see 3 beautiful orange

lit foutains,

a skyscraper and the very very bright planet venus. (goddess of love).

then im 

readng the playbill and i notice romeo is black. this really hit home

this day.

this was a production by well trained & experienced actors who seemed

to take their

parts very seriously. there were recognizable tv actors (fresh prince

dad and family 

ties dad) and i got a sense that the words to this play and the parts

in it are commonly

known to actors who came up through the system. or something…like

they took deep

pride in their parts no matter what it was.

lots of talk of dicks as swords and fallic symbols

brothers as montagues, the fair juliet

romeo and his boys were playful, fun loving teenage boys

juliet red hair, very fair, soft prettty white bare  feet

you got a sense of what was funny in those days

you could see basic human social interaction is still roughly the same

boys will be boys type stuff

juliet’s father was physical with her, 

he grabbed her hair and threw her around when she defied him.

my favorites in this show was the black male. it was good to see strong,

healthy,

viral male acted out. the male walked boldly with swords and spoke

of their cocks

often. it was pure male. to see the male bonding of the gang as it

was 500 years ago.

the strength of their togetherness. 

so the greatest love story ever told is about a brother and a white

girl?

the evening basically was anti-climatic for me. it was a very special

and romantic

day cause it was the birthday of the girl who took me the highest.

looking back

i believe it was with her help that i came so close to pure love that

it changed me

forever. i will never forget it, it was like my sense of time was shifted.

that love has

evolved into something much broader and encompassing. but it was that

intial 

experience of a love so pure that made me realize a feeling that good

exists. 

and that changed me forever. 

i created art that was inspired by that love and all things that day

were for her.

hallelujah feb 10, 2001 skirball cultural

center 

very stimulating

smooth ballet type movements

opening performance for that theatre 

very very diverse

black male dancing with white female in a nvery symbolic show 

black male and older white male dancing together seemed very strange

older white male did not look like “dancing” type

not the type pf person to make smooth graceful dance movements

to see older white male and black male dance a close synchronized

ballet type dance. embracing and lifting each other very closely

and personally. 

to see stereotypical older white female (liz l) lie down on

the railing while delivering a lighthearted but very serious monologue.

to see older (50sumn) japanese female singing and dancing

to a modern funky spiritual vibe and beat

broke many stereotypical “lines”

asain influence, sponsor

almost anti christian

intense, maybe too long

everyone was barefoot

very diverse but mostly white female, all black female was over 50

yrs old

two brothas were the male leads, they were good

this show was “way out there” even for me

and it was intense movement, message and music

the diversity was so deep it was shocking 

(even to me “mr everybody&everything)

11, 2001 huntington library

this was a really sharp modern exhibition. the displays were crisp,

clean and shiny 

but overall it was still very cozy. they had quotes on the walls from

famous people

like einstein, newton, etc that were very astonomically spiritual.

like science is taking

on a mystical angle with a religous like following of people who know

and understand

how how the universe works and those who dont.

the exhibition is in two big sectioned off rooms and is relatively small

but has a lot of

cool stuff. they had some of gallieo’s (they have others, but gallieo

is my man) original

work and manuscripts. did the whole exhibit in less than an hour.

i also realized that i do much better when going to museums and stuff

alone. i can open

up and be more sensitive to the work im experienceing if my sister

wasnt there. im 

telling ya, there is something very strong,  instinctive and weird

within the relationships i 

have with my immediate family. not so much with my kids, but with mom,

dad and sis.

something deeply rooted that skews my perception and reactions kinda…

coming here on a saturday with other visitors also felt weird. i am

use to being alone

with the information and displays in these museums. other people walking

around

distracted me. call me spoiled…

gift shop had really good books & novelties and semi-serious science

stuff on einstein, 

universe astronomy, etc.  playing was a video of a program about

einstein (i think i saw 

before) and it was the part about how he didn’t like the family life.

how his time in 

prague living with his wife and kids he felt like he was in prison,

suffocated. the

commentator said that einstein felt that (and im paraphrasing a bit)

living with a 

family and then doing serious scientific research and deep thinking

was like playing 

the violin after us working with a hammer. your mind isnt in the right

frame needed for 

deep thought. i had said something like this in my dailys. it was kinda

funny cause i had 

just been on the cell phone with my daughter for 30 minutes as we rode

to the library…

no doubt i love my children, but i love the freedom of very aggressive

deep thinking

and un-interupted thought too

simon feb 12, 2001 pasadena

this exhibit is participating in a
8

month long city wide exhibition  with the theme

universe. this installation “examines how artists from diverse cultural

traditions have

defined spiritual connections with the cosmos.” the display seemed

to consist mostly of

stuff from the permanent collection and had a lot of southeatern asain

art, lot of hindu

stuff. in fact, the best part was not in the universe installation. 

the universe installation here may have been a reach. maybe they stretched

it a bit by

putting some of the items here 

this museum has a decent rodin garden and it was raining so i got some

cool pics of the

pieces wet. this place also has some pretty young girls working there.

too young-

18-20, but awful nice to look at. downstairs gaurding the extensive

hindu /asian

collection was a young blonde russian girl. she was cute cause she

was russian. 

the uniforms were a long blue blazer with plaid tweed gray medium short

skirts. 

the girls wore black stockings and semi clumpy shiny black heeled loafers.

she had 

extremely straight blonde hair and though she didnt directly acknowledge

me, i knew

she was well aware and reacting to my presence. then i heard her talk

to one of her

co-wrkers and that russian accent went right thru me…

upstairs guarding the 19 century stuff was a young slightly middle eastern

girl. low 

yellow complexion with black hair and medium thinck manicured black

eyebrows. 

roundish head, heart shaped face and lots of stringy, lightly curly

black hair. i sat in 

her area and tried to sketch her without her knowing (kinda) and i

found out how 

hard it is to draw with a moving model. i would get quick glimpses

of  the essence 

i wanted to capture but she would move and i would loose it! 

i think she knew i was sketching her and the game was half the fun for

me. she paced 

back and forth the length of the gallery and i would concentrate on

the sound of her 

clumpy loafers hitting the floor. she walked with a slow steady relaxed

pace so the 

rhythm of her walk was soothing, meditative, like music. i heard her

talk to a co-worker 

and she had that thick, deep, rough middle eastern female voice. i

so love female…none 

of my sketches looked liked her but it was fun drawing and i discovered

other technique.

the coat check girls were very cute too. one was a fast american blonde

with a hell of a 

walk and the other was a soft skinned itallian looking brunette with

very soft eyes.

surrounded by beautiful female and gorgeous hindu art which most was

female centered.

amercian museum feb 13, 2001

new, modern, goregous building. huge ceilings and big spaces. very

modern lines. you

could tell it was relatively new and the permanent collection hasnt

been installed yet.

once again, just drifiting in an empty beautiful galleryis good. 

the big installation here was the collection by the hewitt family. way

back in the 20s they

started buying paintings and such and nowhave a collection worthy of

public display.

the works are by unknown black artists over the many years, but it

was good. 

its always good to see different styles and the black artist seems to

have a general tone.

the art is political, militant or social (and i understand why). it

seems to lean to a more

impressionist type style. but in the hewitt collection was some modernly

innovativly artsy

creative stuff. 

and why was the first person i ran into a romainianish female with thick

accent?

why was the dominant demopgraphic caucasin female? white girls are

everywhere-

there are places you can go and not see a black female, but i cant

thinkk of any place

that is without a white girl…

science center feb 13, 2001

this place is for kids. not a lot of heavy science, but lots of interactive

stuff that is deeply

science related. very, very good for kids to learn by seeing and doing.

new, beautiful

building with huge spaces and very modern design and angles in archetecture.

they did

have a small cool art display that was kinda artsy deep about colors

(real colors that

we see and how we see). the “life” section was good and had stuff that

i learned from-

stuff about brain, skeletal system, protists, bacteria, cells, etc…

of cultural history feb 14, 2001

ucla campus is beautiful. nice building, was able to be alone in the

gallery with the work.

the female sculpture of alison saar is so good i think she is a lesbian,

she has deep 

passion for female. the lines and curves of the female sculptures,

the expression, the

essence of what her worked shows she is deep into female. very creative

stuff-

and ofcourse i noticed “white female” in her work. she is a light skinned

black female

and the work i like best of hers was a hanging upside down woooden

sculpture of

a neude female with long blonda hair. the piece is about 10 feet long

and the hair 

falls from the hanging female about 4 feet. the body of the female

was obviously 

caucasin too. in another one of her works i noticed a different body

type that looked

as if it was her, and it was. she was able to capture what may be the

different body

types due to race in her sculpture and thats cool. (and for me to notice)

the moche exhibit had lots of these decorated waterbottle type things

from the moche

era. they showed how the lips of the bottle changed 5 times over 700

or so years. 

there were so many bottles the attention for detail on each one says

that these things

were used for more than water bottles. im thinking for smoking something

or sex.

the giftshop/bookstore was good. im noticing that all the giftshops

and bookstores are

pretty good. i go in there and see things that are revelant with good

information…

watching feb 15, 2001 newport landing

didnt see any whales, but it was still well worth the $12 (had a $2

off coupon). it was

good being out on the ocean. in the openess, feeling the ocean air

and wind. feeling the

rhythm of the boat and the waves was cool too for the first 1.5 hours,

then i started to

get a bit queazy. that queaziness stayed with me till i went to bed.

left dock at 1, back at 3pm.

saw birds, seal, dolphins and the beautiful the balboa pennisula. the

birds are cool, they

follow the boats and expect to be fed. i was the only black guy on

a boat with a bunch

of seniors, kids and a few parents. i sat by the seniors and their

converstaion though very

tame in graphic language is basically the same stuff we all talk about.

it was obvious they

were a small group (about 10) that often does things together by they

played with each

other. bob was unusually quiet today. and myabe one reason a lady kept

loosing her 

patients was cause of her glasses. and all day one guy was sure “…to

stay out of that.”

the kids were just kids, they were good with a lot of energy. saw a

little boy-girl stuff 

going on with the 9-10 yr olds. it was the girls. (its always the girls

who make the final

decision). they wanted to get a certain boys voice on some kind of

recorder. it was 

fun to watch early boy-girl interaction.

17, 2001 house of blues hollywood

i love the house of blues, it is my favorite place to see a concert.

i love white girls, the personality, the spirit, the openess, the willingness

to experience.

maceo, skeet, greg and the rest of the band seemed to do a little more

this night. seem

to play longer, slightly “sloppier” which made it more funky. maceo’s

band is so tight that

“sloppy” is probably too much. they sounded good and played for like

3 hours. a funky

percussiony group “natural aphrodesiac” opened and their music had

good rhythms and

movement.  i love the house of blues.

i got there early and for awhile was the only black person in the joint.

then 2 more 

brothas should up and i was the only person in the building with a

hat on. (my jester’s 

hat). though i had been very very lazy lately, i was as free as ever.

so confident that its

not a factor any more. partying, vibing and i was due  to dance

with the energy and 

intensity that seems only a concert can bring. 

the thing that impressed me about this night was the amount of white

girls that introduced 

themselves to me. god i love the house of blues spirit (white girl

mentality). now, im no

player or casa nova but i do walk as alpha male and this nite i had

a powerful but casual 

strut. they all liked my hat. i think around 3 introduced themselves

to me, (this brotha

introduced me to a girl and i asked what was that about. he said she

asked who his 

friend was (meaning me, he didnt know me) and he introduced hisself

to me then to her)

physical dancing contact with about 6, vibed dozens and smiled at the

whole house. such 

a playful funky and very spiritual vibe  with deep sexual instinct

right below the surface. 

i love white girls. (and the alcohol helps probably, them not me, sort

of)

also the night out dancing has helped my physical energy. i have been

soooo lazy lately

drifting around 3 winks from a coma. the energy and spirit of the dance

last night has

helped raise my physical energy.

key point of above is to convey the positive spirit, vibe, health, intellect,

beauty, 

and energy of the crowd at the house of blues on sunset strip in hollywood.

when its really funky & sweaty and he band is groovin, i turn around

face to face with 

the crowd so i can vibe them direct. i can vibe energy and rhythm.

i can synchronize a

large group’s energy and rhythm. increasing everybody’s energy, band

and all.

cm talley was there and we hung out, no other regular funkers sighted.

stevie wonder showed up and did a little sumn sumn with maceo.