june 13, 2003 i have reached a point where i CAN’T get off beat. no matter what im doing- driving, dancing or walking, I CANNOT LOOSE THE BEAT OR GET OFF RHYTHM. its like no matter what music or band is playing i can “ride” the beat or it drives my groove. like any internal sub-conscious groove i have is triggered or “clocked” by external rhythms. so im not trying to synchronize my motions or body movements with an external beat, the external beat is making my motions and body movements.i can rhythm any and all kinds of music. i can get so into the groove of live bands that i can anticipate changes, breaks and pauses. even bands and music that ive never seen or heard before. i love when a band breaks it down to vocals, with no drums or music keeping rhythm. i love to snap my fingers keeping the beat. when my snap is the only sound that can be heard on beat. i close my eyes and let the feeling go all thru me. maybe like a musician being “in the pocket.” it is a very good feeling. having this supreme rhythm ability is euphoric. it feels better than sex cause there is no peaking to a climax. it is a very pleasurable feeling that is sustained so its continuous. everything is gradual and so is the feeling. once i am in a groove, you just stay there and enjoy the feeling. there is no work or effort towards climax. im in rhythm with everything in life. car engines, running water. i am on beat with all the sounds i hear. i am in rhythm and in sync with life. so my movements are coordinated and flow with my surroundings. this rhythm i believe came not only from “rhythm training.” (listening to music and air drumming or dancing kinda stuff). i believe a large part of it is from my understanding of life and confidence. a natural relaxedness. a lack of all nervousness. the ability to go with the flow or be on my own flow regardless of external energies (such as excited people or hysteria). to be able to ride my own groove. what i want to emphasize here is that i believe this rhythm thing i got is due mostly to understanding of life, my outlook on life, my belief system. it could be a matter of “coolness.” being able to be cool under any circumstance and able to maintain my own vibe. this is the first time i have addressed this directly so the wording is hard to find. i know the keywords (groove, beat, rhythm, energy, etc), the reason and the result, but i cant put it into the proper wording. so im writing this and leaving it uncut cause i want to start to get what im trying to say documented. there is more to this and im just exploring. its too new to know. “Dance is the outward expression by both body and soul of culminated ecstasy. Dance may be said to be an instinct, some compelling emotion within us that urges us to find expression in outward rhythmic movements which gradually seem to come to assume certain forms. Dance is obviously an outward mode of a deep inner feeling. Humans have been moved to dance on joyous as well as painful occasions. Even children dance before they learn the use of all their limbs. There is rhythm manifest in all nature in the firmaments. Dance symbolises an inspiration which elevates us from the earthly bonds that bind us down, to higher levels, thus revealing the warped and suppressed feelings, and creates, if it be fleetingly, those moments of the soul when we become one with the universe.” http://www.aber.ac.uk/~drawww/journal/dance.html what i do like to do is use other people’s words. i do not believe its plagiarizism. i do not wish for anyone to think that someone else’s words are mine. but i will borrow to make my point. sometimes its hard to put somethings into words so if someone else does it for me i want to reflect their words but surely giving them all credit. may 21, 2003 license plate frame i saw today i should have wrote it down never missing a beat april 17, 2003
april 15, 2003
how did i know this? march 31, 2003 rhythm is much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much more to life than just dance. king of queens deals directly with the wife dominating the husband relationship. doug told carrie he is scared of her. that he lies to her cause he fears her. this is good tv. they also have one of my fave ex sat nighters who just refereed to dark shadows. this soap opera is one of my deepest obscure childhood memories. barnabus collins referenced. dougie is practicing and promoting lieing to carrie. there will be a moral. americas kids are watching this. americas kids see families with non-dominant fathers. whoa. they ended it there. no clear cut moral statement and the show ended with dougie enjoying lieing to carrie. yes dear and king of queens, both cbs shows have the the ncaa final four in their plot. the final four is on cbs. yes dear even blatantly said the date. cool husband just tried to lie to his wife about watching scrambled porn. cbs monday night primetime: 3 shows, 3 families with non-dominant, not so smart role models as husbands. king of queens, everybody loves raymond, saturday night live. raymond just told a lady he was scared of her. march 31, 2003 also saddam aint gotta win this war. he just has to survive. since we were promised a quick war, the longer it goes on, the more the pressure to end it is building. media coverage compounds this. the us will dominate any conventional war fought under the rules of the geneava convention. but saddam aint gotta play by these rules and an unconventional guerilla war could make this conflict last longer than the public is willing to wait. support for the war will wane. “embeding” his army into the civilian population will force the us into door to door combat. also the proper use of chemical weapons could help him. they say he used chemical weapons in his own people. these werent his own people, they were kurds. they are ethnically different and ethnic conflicts are not unusual. if its his people against the kurds, his people may continue to support him cause he was not oppressing them. these people will fight for him. and maybe these people have been trained in what to do if a chemical attack is launched by saddam. imagine us troops entering a city where the population is trained and capable of protecting themselves should saddam release chemical weapons. too many people in the president’s administration are saying how sure they are about the outcome. too many people speak too assuredly about the “inevitable” outcome. one thing ive learned about humans is that it seems the more one side is the underdog or overmatched or guaranteed not to succeed, the more sometimes it seems they come up.
march 26, 2003 march 25, 2003 http://skyserver.fnal.gov/en/tools/scroll/camcol.asp?Z=1&R=1339&C=2 march 21, 2003 The Adhan is the distinct call for prayer listen Allahu Akbar Ash hadu an la ilaha illal lah Ash hadu anna Muhammadan Rasulul lah Ash hadu anna Aliyyan Waliyul lah * Hayya alas Salah Hayya alal Falah Hayya¨ala Khayril Amal Allahu Akbar La ilaha illal lah
Isiah 44:6 “Thus saith the Lord the King of Israel, march 19, 2003 i am against pre-emptive strikes. but if war was the choice, i believe president bush and the boys are doing it the way it should be done. i also believe our military, a voluntary army (enthusiastic) 6:39pm air raid sirens going off in baghdad the adrenaline of a false alarm the opening stages of the liberation has begun. 6:47 yeah, they doing it right cruise missile fired at target of opportunity 6:59 i was planning on going out tonight a decapitation strike at saddam (7:21:58 PM): the president march 13, 2003
the beauty of the above statement does not lie in its accuracy or if its true or not. the beauty lies in the fact that i feel this way. whether or not i have the best life in the world does not matter, what matters is that i feel that way. how happy is a person who makes that statement? the other point i feel important is that its not what i have, its how good what i have makes me feel. the immense pleasure i get from the things that are in my life. the pleasure i get from the experiences in my life, and not necessarily what the experience is. sure, i do live a fairly exciting existence compared to most and there is a lot in my life for me to enjoy. but i believe its my ability to be happy with the simple things and a simple life that makes me feel my time hear on earth is heaven.. i also am grateful for the things that are NOT in my life. i must be aware that the things that are not in my life are just as important as the things that are. and im not talking about the major things like death, disease or poverty. im talking about the low stress and low responsibility. no big house, no job that i worry about loosing. no big fancy car that needs my attention. my life is not cluttered with a bunch of little things that can add up to become burdensome. march 11, 2003
where was i? on yes dear of course the husband who is living in the weak frail breadwinning husbands garage is cool, solid and been around the block a few times. handles everything in stride and is a security guard at the same movie studio as the frail. his wife too is cool and is also heavier (in weight physically more normal) than the testosterone wife, who is muscled skinny small cute tight. there was an episode where the testosterone wife was frightened by something and jump to the cool husband for safety. with her frail husband standing right there. they went on to explain in that episode that the two were different types. the two had different strengths. this is good tv. everybody loves raymond dealt directly withthe god issue. this is network prime time (9-9:30pm prime time?) tv too. everybody gets cbs. this is basically what we are feeding our kids. i was watching the movie lets do it again and i noticed alot of the stuff in the movie is how a lot of black people act. it was a black movie so it should. but were the actors acting like black people act or did black people start acting that way after seeing the movie? in the past ive pondered how black people in one city act very similar to blacks in another. cadence, posture, gestures. style, language, words. maybe it is adapted from the old black exploitation films. i wasnt allowed to go see ’em, but some of my friends were. i gotta rent shaft, coffey, cleopatra jones (actually my mother took us to see this one, me and my sister), boxcar bertha and whatever. i want to see how black people depicted black people and what parts of our language and style was taken from these movies. could explain how our style is so widespread. almost 7. ill put the tv on at 7 to watch cnn’s aaron brown. nice couple hours surfing, reading e-mails in the quiet. computer hard drive and apartment noise traffic. 2 minutes to go by the digital cable box time which is right on with my cell phone time. connected we are globally. this has to mean something. 1 minute. i love my remote. live tv. my remote also controls my stereo. anti war sentiment disguised. do i watch the news i agree with? the whip. the news personalities? i do feel their slant. aaron feels anti war, slightly liberal (thats only the “feel” so he must be much more that way cause he is holding it back but you can tell in his tone). shock and awe. we tested a big bomb today. the biggest bomb in fact. seems primitive. very primitive. maybe this administration under estimates the capability of arabs. we know for sure that demographic is scared to death of black folx. if they think those people are “savage” or “primitive” then war and bombs would be the answer. i dont think this administration is “stupid” or “dumb.” they have got to have a good reason to want war so badly. i just dont understand what this reason is yet. maybe its cause they see the situation incorrectly and have fear. would explain the terror feeling they spread. hmmmmmm. there has to be a way to avoid war. maybe bush doesnt intend to go to war. but if he doesn’t, then he is lieing. not that i dont think he wouldnt lie, im hoping he is smart enough to know if he does he will get caught. a 21,000lb bomb. i like rumsfeld, though i may not like him joking so much in this situation. he does comedy and he is responsible for war. i think this is the last hoorah for white right wing white haired old white men. damn i said white alot and im gonna leave it in like that. i dont think they will be voted in again. lets see. they definitely wont win the next election in 2004, so they next is 2008 and it will be a hot democraticish type. he will go2 terms 8 years. so 2012 (ill be 50) is when they will get there next chance and by then they will all be dead. tv and media has curbed the production of right wing conservatives and thats good. kids are brought up on more practical values. its cool to be cool. whites are being integrated. the rich isolated families are fewer. kids have access to better info now. 2002 census
if this stays true the bulk of the voting population is 25-44.
but you can see my point. one day voters raised on rap will be the majority. not saying thats good or bad, just saying. voters who had internet, digital cable from birth will be the majority one day. hmmmmmm….people raised on funk one day will be the majority- all them white kids. oh yeah, believe it. more white people into the funk now than black. who are we to say that democracy is good for another country? if saddam is oppressing his own people, is it our business? our right to intervene? our responsibility? joseph campbell is on pbs march 9, 2003 man is a goal-seeking animal. aristotle march 7, 2003 celebs without makeup march 5, 2003 i believe in the womans right to choose abortion (i am pro-choice). i do not believe in war.
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