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DAILYS: February 17, 2000

february 17, 2000
yesterday i cashed in the bet i won on 2/15 and got “all you can eat sushi” free
for the 2nd week in a row. i just confirmed next wednesday’s will be free too…
i was hard pressed to never call anything “dumb” or “stupid” listening to some of
the questions during the first session of astron 1a, my steller system astronomy course…
either i am very very very smart (and obviously i am) and/or some of the kids in
this class have never been out of their backyards before. at one point it was so
bad that i had to “suspend” myself  from what was happening around me to keep
from laughing or moaning in agony outloud. but the instructor was another story,
he has a PHD in dynamical astronomy/celestrial mechanics which deals with the
motion’s of the bodies in the universe. he works at JPL (the bastards that fired me)
and is manager of the precision orbit determination and navigation team. they track
the exact location of the spacecraft of certain missions (TOPEX is one and he said
this is the most precisely tracked satellite in history, accurate to a few centimeters)…
the thought of having access to this man’s knowledge and resources for the next
3.5 months damn near gave me an erection…

february 16, 2000
doing my daily breakfast thing and singing a macy gray song, the cashier (“fruitcup”)
corrected me on my lyric. i told her that i was pleasantly surprised that she had even
heard of the song. i then “challenged” her with another group, ozomatli. she hadn’t
heard of them, but the guy in line behind me overhearing our conversation said he saw
them new years eve and they were good…

i first heard ozomatli riding in the car of a coworker who hosts
on his servers, we were going to “all you can eat” sushi (i hope we go today too). they
were funky and i was groovin to the sound and he told me a little about them…

last friday at the kings game, which i went to with other co-workers who had comp 6th
row tickets from vendors, behind me in the bathroom line was a guy wearing an ozomatli
t-shirt. i asked him about it and said i wouldnt mind seeing them live and we started talking-
he was in a another band…blah blah blah. when i got back to my seat one of the guys
asked me who it was i was talking to and i told him. yesterday that co-worker sent me
an IM that ozomatli is having a show on 2-24 at the el rey…

last night my father left a message that he saw gclinton and “that funk stuff” on BET live…
“they’re really doing their thing…the guy in the diaper…(LOL).” alot of us p-funk fans have
been waiting for that show to air (i knew when and where they taped it and i probably
could have gone (other friends)) and had been tuning in unsuccesfully for a couple of weeks
to see it… im alerted by my father 3,000 miles and 3 times zones away to watch-

these are good examples of  the flow of information and how things pretty much go in my life.

i believe in total information exchange. im very open and everybody knows what i like
and don’t like. so when the people around me see things they know im into, they tell me and
thats how i basically find out…i don’t actively seek most things (other than knowledge), its a
natural flow. its kinda like my passions seek and find me…know what im sayin???
february 15, 2000
ive gotten away from talking about food but the onion rings at
the shack on wilshire are amazing. they have a batter, not that
crumbly breaded stuff and they have a really deep sweet onion taste-
they were really good and its really good hanging for lunch with cool
people, in a cool place, like today for instance…

foster’s freeze (double cheese burger w/bacon, fries choc shake) on
pico has one of those toy vending machines that gives out decals of
NFL teams (campos taco, also on pico, has NFL helments and after
$3 i gave up on getting my steelers). so i invest 50 cents and i get the
new orleans saints. the saints mean nothing to me so i give the decal to a
little kid there with his mother (she was cute). turns out the kids father
is from new orleans, he was creole…i have one quarter left so me and
my buddy decide to go half. his team is dallas and the next thing you
know we’re betting lunch on the decal we get. NFC team he wins,
AFC team i win. if its pittsburgh or dallas, bet is doubled- 2 lunches…

you should have seen the look on his face. i literally screamed and the
energy jumped me across the room. i felt it and it felt good, very powerful.
i was aware of the other people in the place, but this energy had to come
out and it did in a small explosion. i felt as if i had controlled what happened.
the girl with us mentioned that before it happened i said “i was in tune with the
universe, that i have good karma and things like that happen to me.”
i can still feel the moment…the split second when i truly and deeply believed
that the things in the universe work for me and with me (not just me exclusively)-
also during this day i played a coin flip game with a coworker where i won
5 out of 6 and benefited $20. is it luck if its part of your everyday life and
you can damn near “rely” on it? is it luck if you can call it and have it witnessed
over and over again?

don’t ever think that your life
can’t be everything that you want it to be
jeffery scott mitchell

february 6, 2000
my life is good and it keeps getting better. i was able to attend a very very
private (industry only) funkadelic concert cause a high ranking co-worker
and his assistant (in this industry, the tag “assistant” does these people a
gross injustice. in good “teams” like these, the two become connected mentally
& physically and sometimes its hard to tell who’s really in control)  made a
phone call. “i need a name, person to call”…gave him a name, later…”your in-“
in my thank u e-mail i told them both that i wasnt sure if i was more happy
about seeing funkadelic or how they hookd me up. i was very very proud to
have access to a  resource like that and it made me very happy…
(ok, ok…there was some ego expansion)

speaking of proud…i have done a lot of good things with  my magnetism,
charisma, positive energy and spirit. i have connected and charmed everybody from
temp interns to company presidents, from my case worker at the DA’s office
to the guy who operates the booth at my jobs parking garage. there is no
“game” here, i do it naturally and honestly. i am able to find the common spirituality
and the necessary communication protocols needed to show “whatever” (human,
animal, object or energy)  i am interfacing with that i appreciate and “love”
at least a small part of them. i have raised the energy of meetings, lunches, parties, etc-

but maybe my “most proudest” moment last year was when i was back home on
vacation in farrell, pa hanging out with family. my mother, her sister, my sister, and
cousins in the backyard chillin and grillin. my aunt is my mother’s only sibling and her
daughter has two 5 year old twins who don’t want for nothing…
i mean these boys got and get everything they need. they aint even gotta talk and they don’t.
they can talk, but they aint got too. all they got to do is get a look on their face and
between my aunt and their mother whatever they want is there for them. they are cool
and fun and i play with them, but since i once held the exaulted position that they have now
(my sister and girl cousins never had it like this), i dont treat them like that. i play rougher
and i give them nothing. i take things from them. i scare them. i try to get them in trouble, but
ofcourse the law (my aunt) will always be on their side and i end up getting hit in the head
with whatever is within her reach.

so i think i had just locked them in a closet or something and then i hear my name.
“jeffery jeffery jeffery” i knew immediately who it was. they were on the porch and
i deliberately didnt react and kept my back turned to them as if i didn’t hear them.
i shhhhhh’ed everybody in the backyard and said “y’all  hear that?” just in time to
catch the last two “jefferys.” it felt soooooo good. i think everyone was as shocked
as i was. i’ve never heard them call anybody. after being sure that everybody heard it,
i snapped around and looked at them and said “what do you want?! can’t ya see im busy?!”
they told me their mother needed me to move my car. i barked “ok, ill be there in a minute!”
it was a thing of beauty-

totally absorbing the moment and enjoying every drop of that feeling while it was
happening. imagine two little 5 year old knuckleheads asking me to move my car and having
such an impact on me that i can write about it in detail months later. it truly is the simple
things in life. and the fact that it hapened in front of my toughest and most critical audience
(family: cause the charm dont work on people who have changed your diaper and
gotten you out of jail) didnt hurt either…shoot, i once was in the position of being able to do
no wrong, and now that they have paid their respects to the one that came before them,
i can acknowledge them as exaulted knuckleheds…

february 2, 2000
its already freakin february…life is fast when its good-
been waking up at 2am almost everynight lately…(2:35am now)
one thing i realized about being 6’2″ 230+ black and having a slightly
“imposing” (that  i can easily turn into “intimidating”) look is that people
dont bother me with things like they would if i was a 5 foot 90lb white
female (i say white cause folx is less apt to mess with sistas, me included).
example: i drive to work in semi-rush hour traffic at my own pace,
not necessarily keeping up with traffic and letting the space between me
and the car ahead of me get pretty big…every so often an impatient  person
will be slightly irritated by this and run up on the back of me driving at a
“why don’t you speed up?!!” distance…one glance in my rear view usually
does it and if that doesn’t when they see that im looking them dead
in their eyes as they pass me they usually put both hands on the wheel and
look straight ahead while mumbling something to themselves…

i dont “use” my physical stature to intimidate, but i do realize that i walk
thru life without any amount of fear or apprehension. im not worried about
anybody bothering me for any reason (this also applies for everybody who
is with me, they also seem to gain that “confidence”), so i am able to
be in a public place with my gaurd completely down. i can allow my self
to be open and vulnerable. i can go places by myself. i can smile, be silly,
talk to myself, talk to food “$2 a lb for nectarines?!! are you crazy?!!,”
sing, whistle, dance, etc. i  am able to let people see i am happy, relaxed
and just plain flat out enjoying myself in life. yes, a lot has to do with confidence
and the fact that what people think doesnt effect me like it use to, but if that
5 foot 90lb white girl was to do this stuff she would be bothered and maybe
even harrassed, especially if she was pretty. this “confidence” is contagious-
whoever or whatever group i am with walks with that same relaxed confidence-
and though i havent had to prove it in a long time and its not my nature, i know
i can whip some ass if i have to…and after i physically beat the shit out of you,
i’ll crush you mentally & destroy your spirit, rebuild you and then make you a
follower, all in 15 minutes…deep as my passion is my anger, if ever triggered-
january 31, 2000
in  the movie any given sunday there was a “full frontal nude” scene
of a black man, a full-on shot of his dongle. i was mildly surprised
to see this cause in the movies you never-ever see the man naked,
its always the woman. i myself thought there was nothing particulary
special about the shot…but i’ve never seen so many disappointed white
people in my life!! women were crying, one man screamed
“NO!!! say it ain’t so!!” couples got into arguments, one woman
actually asked for a divorce on the spot…one man commited suicide
in the parking lot…you’d think they never saw a man’s dongle before…

yesterday’s superbowl may have been the best ever. it was a very good
season and the two best teams played to be the champion of the NFL…
and the champ was decided on the very last play of the season…the
commercials were good in a different way this year. they had a deeper
meaning with not so much “entertainment” value (ali, reeves, etc)…the
halftime show was also the best. it was on a higher level of consciousness,
awareness and appreciation for the spirit of life- both human and animal…it
was’nt a bunch of kids running around in a simple dance hill did a
real good job on the national anthem too…the argument/discussion me, mommy
and laurie had on the changing consciousness and my belief that we are
becoming more secular during the slow 3rd qtr was so good i got a headache
from straining the muscles in the back of my head…throw in the hotwings and
it was a very very good superbowl sunday…truly an unofficial american holiday

january 23, 2000
last week it was all you can eat shabu shabu sushi at todai,
(this stuff is so good im thinking i gotta do this weekly) and
some very very fun dim sum with co-workers at royal star…
friday it was benihana’s with the boys…after each of these meals
i thought of (and mentioned aloud)  how far i was from the people
and the place i grew up…

after a lazy day sleeping, eating and watching some good football on tv,
(tenn will win the superbowl), i decided to take a ride with no direction….
i ended up at LACMA cause they have free concerts on sunday. i gets there
at the tail end of a piano duo…. i look at the program and the women in
the duo is in residence at youngstown state university-where i grew up…

after the concert i found a nice quiet spot alone in the late 19th century american
gallery…surrounded by sculpture and paintings is where i started writing this …

dr zhivago is ranked 39 on the AFI  list of top 100 movies…it is a 3+ hour epic
set in russia during the revolution(s) between the reds & whites when lenin was
coming to power. it showed life, death and poverty during  war. “children growing up
on human flesh.”  it also showed me that socialism or communism not only meant that
material wealth was to be shared, but it was considered criminal to have personal
feelings and passions…dr z was a poet whose work was considered self serving and
criminal by the “state” cause he wrote of his own personal passion….imagine
generations of people being led to believe that the desire of the invidual is wrong….
what kind of people does that thinking create over time? individual ambition as selfish and thus
illegal…it never occured to me that kind of goverment  went that far to control the people-

it was also a story which showed that love is stronger than any man made bond-

january 16, 2000
before the season started at our fantasy league draft in vegas i said
that randall cunningham would be benched and jeff george would be
the starting qb for the minnesota vikings…i was watching my beloved
steeler’s at clancy’s in azusa when it came across the ticker that cunningham
had been benched…i screamed rather loudly that jgeorge would take
that team to the superbowl…right now the vikes are loosing to the rams
in a do or die playoff game 17-28 with 8:18 left in the 3rd and they just
fumbled the ball…

acting up and being silly looks a whole lot “better” in public when you
do it with someone else…last night i went out with the fellas (i almost
always fly solo or in a group with boys&girls) in pasadena and my energy
and confidence was way up…we hit two different kinda clubs-
moose mcgillicuddys is an overwhelmingly white club- brightly lit bar with a
small well lit dance floor playing high energy up-beat “happy and positive”
music…what i digged about it is that the dance floor stayed full of cute
white girls dancin with each other while all the guys stood and watched…
me and the boys stood front row so i was able to vibe the girls as
they danced…i love the vibe they give you back when they put a little
more into the dance cause they know your watching and you know
its just for you (score now is 17-42)…since its well lit you can look deep
into the girls eyes when they see you smile while you watch them wiggle…

the other club was the muse- there is dancing in the lower level with
a kinda big dance floor. very dark, hot and sweaty and the music is slower
beat hip-hop- the crowd was very well mixed- mexican, black, white, asian-
from blue eyed blondes  to baby wanna be thugs…though the music
is NOT positive at all, the vibe is a positive aggressive celebration-
much more rhythmic and sexually open, body to body, like a clothed orgy…
little eye contact (but i get mine) much more “serious” type thang…

it was cool experincing both vibes and being able to operate at both
levels…i finished up the night at the muse completely sweated out after
a hour and a half straight dancing with every girl i saw who didnt have
a partner.though i dont like the lyrics i can dance to the beat all night-
both places had lots of serious cuties (31-49)

january 14, 2000
yesterday i made the comment that i haven’t been in a relationship
in over 2 years (its actually closer to 3) and im the happiest i have ever
been in my life…on the way to work this morning i thought to myself
that if the bulk of one’s “happiness” or well being is determined or
influenced by a relationship with someone else, this is dysfunctional…
i would not give any single person that much power over me nor would
i want the things that i do or say determine someone elses well being…

i have been in many relationships and regret none of them-
because i was in a “typical” relationship, i have had my “happiness”
controlled by the actions and feelings of another person.
i have had love that stopped time. i believe deeply in love and i know
it is the most powerful “feeling” known to mankind. love that is
“universe big” is my ultimate goal cause it will consist of and get energy
from everything&everybody in the cosmos…

notice i said nothing of a relationship with any person or object-
my goal is the love…if it happens to be with a person, so be it-

and since im talking relationships- relationships are not meant to last
forever (i need to do a essay on “forever,” it is only a concept therefore
it exists only in the mind), relationships are suppose to last as long as they are
“good” or as long as they last…this is for any relationship whether it be
people in love or atoms forming molecules…and yes, that means that the
idea of marriage being “till death do you part” does not work 97% of the time-
its as if  2 hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom decided to be a water molecule
forever and signed a contract…too many things can happen to change
their relationship…

* Responsibility *
 You are responsible for what you say.
 You are responsible for what you are.
 You are responsible for what your feel.
 You are responsible for what you do.

 You are not responsible for making anyone else happy.
 You are not responsible for becoming what someone else wants you to be.
 You are not responsible for distorting the truth
 to keep from hurting another person’s feelings.

 You are responsible when someone breaks a secret you told him,
 because you were a poor judge of character.

You are responsible when people use what you say to hurt you,
because you should be able to tell when a person does not wish you well,
and you are responsible for defending yourself.

You are responsible for the ties other people have with you,
 because it takes two to tango.

You are responsible for everything in your life that
 wouldn’t be there unless you did something.

 If you don’t like your lifestyle, you are responsible.
 If you don’t like your job, you are responsible.
 If you don’t like your home, you are responsible
 If you don’t like your husband or wife, you are responsible.
 If you don’t like you, you are responsible.
 If you don’t like the way you are treated, you are responsible.

from a fwd’ed e-mail i received last week

january 9, 2000
oooooops,  i just noticed i used the wrong year below…i also realized
that when my life gets really good im too bizzy to write these dailys-
so the stretches of  “really good” times aren’t usually mentioned…kinda
like how i forget to take pics when something really stimulating happens,
im so consumed by experiencing the event that i dont think to record it…
january 3, 1999
the day made up of the 24 hourly new year’s eve’s around the
world was the biggest celebration in the history of the world…
it may have also been the “best” day mankind as a whole has ever had-
technology brought the video and audio to millions, but it was our
interpretation, understanding and trust of the pictures and sounds
coming from the tv combined with consciousness that enabled
us to “feel”  the emotion and excitement of the whole world…
(though i went a bit overboard on my first daily in the new millennium,
this is how i feel)

i watched pbs’ millennium 2000 coverage all day and was most
impressed by the celebration in warsau, poland…it was spiritual,
funky, pop, artistic, cultural, ethnic and full of energy…by the
time the new year hit here i was all new year’d out-
but i enjoyed every minute of the day’s celebrations…
december 1, 1999
as i sat in carls jr i paged through the dec 6 issue of  time
magizine with jesus on the cover when i ran across an
article on the roots, the group i saw xgiving night
after spending the day at moms watching the history channel’s
american marvels marathon which i just saw a billboard of on sunset
blvd cause i’m riding around trying to kill time before
the digital underground concert im 2 hours early for-
think i stop in carl jr’s and get a hot chocolate…

my father knows what funk is now after he saw the george clinton
funkadelic special on VH1 which right after aired a special on
alanis M who played god in the movie dogma which previewed a trailer
that started off with parliaments flashlight which i got to see today
cause the power was out in our office cause a rat blew-up a

dogma is a very very very good movie

november 28, 1999
today i got an international collect call from ghana, it was a wrong number-
some guy looking for info on some kind of teen aa…later, a pair of actual sisters
(intl sistas) from ghana cared for my sprained ankle…when i got home from
the emergency room and while i was watching what some say is the best movie
ever made, citizen kane, i recognized a statue of a man on a horse. i paused,
grabbed the viao and sure enough…i saw that pic at the legion of honor…
recognized the inside of the building too, i think…my first time seeng it,
this movie is so good its hard to believe the number of poor movies that
were made after it…the dialogue, people talking simultaneously, the way it was shot,
the use of lighting, the flow, what it explained and what it didnt explain, black & white,
the use of dark and shadows, it made you think and didnt “baby” the watcher…
it was masterful, it was “real”…now i see why i liked pulp fiction…
orson wells is the man…i was very very impressed.
i kinda liked that kane guy alot too…

you & i,
we’re like 4 year oldswe want to
know why&how come about everything
we want to
reveal ourselves at will
&speak our minds&never talk small
&be intuitive&question mightily
&find god
my tortured beacon,
we need to
find like-minded companions
joining you, alanis M


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