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DAILYS: December 27, 2001

december 27, 2001
today i completed the transfer of all my stuff from netscape to internet explorer. it took about a month to slowly move bookmarks, default mail, webpage editing, etc. i no longer use netscape navigator/ communicator/composer for any of my web surfing or web creation needs. i fought microsoft’s IE for along time but the drop in performance in using netscape products became too great. my webpages have been adjusted to use frontpage for editing…    december 26, 2001
driving major thoroughfares van nuys blvd, colorado blvd in oldtown and lake ave in pasadena i saw very, very few signs of christmas. in fact, i could hardly tell it was christams day. i spent the day with my cousins and stuff eating, drinking, dancing, gambling and enjoying the spirit of our family the only way we know how. the way we do it. in fact, the last family gambling game came down to my 8 month pregnangt sister and a 3 year old who could barely hold the dice in his hands. my sister threw like 14 consecutive “dots” in a row to take him down.folx screaming,  music going, talking loud, kids running around, food everywhere, folx doing shots, talking stuff about them 12-2 steelers, lakers. i love the dancin part. i dance all day long so when i get together with people who feel it too and an impromptu spontaneous mini vibe and jam session starts im all for it. it funny too cause as much as i dance and think im the dancin king im not the one who starts it. its usuallys my 40 & 50 sum female cousins. eat, drink and be merry. celebrate the spirit that is usthe public places and stuff ive been to have been flat. the economy, the war, etc has taken its toll on the public’s energy and enthuiasm. there has been a noticable drop in the collective public spiritual energy at most of the places ive beenoh yeah, i brought home 4 plates of food. turkey, greens, dressing, macaroni & cheese, banana pudding, cheesecake, etc. the best gift i got was my daughter’s call that woke me up at 6:30am. i laid in bed and lsitened to her wish me merry christmas. after that my day was set, thats all the gift i need. (well that and daddys annual gift which gets me thru december). after her call i knew it was gonna be a good day.  


december 17, 2001


20 year old me, 19 years ago today

december 16, 2001   
i love the
 pittsburgh steelers


december 12, 2001
afghani women are very attractive under them burkas. ofcourse the media aint gonna try to put the ugly ones on tv, but all ive seen have been cute. cant see their bodies with all that traditional garb on, so i still wonder if their backpacks are packed and if they got junk in they trunks.

speaking of traditional garb, i digs the “hats” the afghani men wear. im sure that “style” will hit the us soon, somehow someway someone is gonna turn this into a financial profit. i noticed most of the colors of dress they wear are “fall” colors; grays, browns, tans, etc. all subtle coloring…

speaking of fall colors, i saw a shot of a storefront in afghanistan, it was weathered, gray and basically drab except for the two big bright red and blue pepsi signs on it. i thought to myself things about economic imperialism and is it such a good thing to have access to western and american things. is it worth it in the long run to embrace western and american economic influences.

speaking of western influence, i have to admire castro. it seems that cuba may be poor and whatever, but he has been able to keep the united states out. and by keeping the us out cuba seems to have maintained a large portion of its culture. there is more than one way to be overrun by the west and america.

ms north, my old religion class buddy



december 9, 2001

unlike others, i want a big booty  
leah remini, pre-emmy interview 

december 3, 2001
my test results; Does this fit you? If it does not, go back over the test, rethink some of your answers and see if you come up with your style. This is not easy. Your enneagram style is an energy you have been using without knowing all your life. You have a vested interest in not knowing this energy because it may  slightly alter what you have considered your motivation for many things. Besides, this energy has a down side you may not like to acknowledge. ——————————————————————————– 
Style Five
 The life of the style Five centers on their thinking. Healthy Fives are both highly intellectual and involved in activity. They can be, if not geniuses, then extraordinarily accomplished. As the most intellectual of the nine types, they are often superb teachers and/or researches. Many healthy Fives are fine writers because of their acute observational skills and a developed idealism. They are highly objective and able to see all sides of a question and understand them.

When Fives become less healthy, they tend to withdraw. Instead of dealing with their sensitivity by being emotionally detached from results, they split off from reality, living in worlds of their own creatingand not answering the demands of active living. Their natural independence as a thinker degenerates into arrogance. They can become quite arrogant or eccentric. In the movies, Fives are the “mad professors.”

Fives you may know: Bill Gates, Scrooge, Buddha, T. S. Eliot, John Paul Sartre, Rene Descartes, Timothy McVeigh, Joe DiMaggio, Albert Einstein, H. R. Haldeman, Ted Kaczynski, Jacqueline Onassis and Vladimir Lenin.


november 28, 2001

i told and explained to my father  about my life goal to “define god”  -january 8, 2001 daily

november 27, 2001


you gravitate to that which you secretly love most  you meet in life the exact reproduction of your own thoughts

you rise as high as your dominant aspiration
you descend to the level of your lowest concept of your self
good thoughts, bad thoughtsfunkadelic 1974


november 26, 2001
exiting his daily press conference mr rumsfeld was asked how he felt about him being portrayed on saturday night live. he said that when he wants to talk about that he will bring it up. the room laughed. mr rumsfeld has lightened up considerably over the course of  “america’s new war.” its good to see my man has a sense of humor, but i think i like the deadly serious secretary better.

hanging out in loma linda over the thanksgiving holiday, i took a midnight ride to get some air.away from the city lights and on a clear night jupiter, orion, the pleadies and other celestrial objects were beautiful. (the night before i put the roof down on the car, reclined my seat and did some binocular sky watching.) during my ride i turned a corner and the moon appeared so big it startled me. this was the biggest i have ever seen it. it was a half-moon and very low close to the horizon. it was beautiful and intimidating. i read somewhere that we dont know yet why the moon appears so much bigger closer to the horizon vs high in the sky. i think a lot of people dont get to see the stars and have no idea how many there really are. most people are unaware of the visible planets (venus, mars, jupiter, saturn). i wonder what our ancestors who didnt have city lights and tvs, etc did at night. we evolved seeing thousands of stars very clearly every night. i can easily imagine how celestrial events could have an impact on our thinking, especially as far as superstition, religion, gods, etc. most of us today never get to see and experience the stars and planets so alot of us have no idea how celestrial events influenced religion, mythology and our thinking about god or gods.

november 20, 2001
 in their interviews the 2 american aid workers recently freed in afghanistan displayed behavior very similiar to that of brainwashed cult members. one of the neighbors commented that one girl handled her 21 yr old sister’s death a year ago “suprisingly smoothly.” the workers had a constant smile and a continued reference to jesus. it was like all their other emotions were turned off. they showed pictures of the girls like an hour after their release waving at the camera with that same weird happiness. the girls said they were anxious to get back to afghanistan with not so much a worry. like the danger wasn’t even recognized. like they were unconscious of anything but that project, smiling and jesus. danger and fear didnt even register (this is bad because fear is necessary to know when to protect yourself). one girls pastor has  the same happy droid like personality and they both are from waco, tx. (remember waco?) . the last news of the workers is that they are currently at an undisclosed location.

november 20, 2001
  look for mars to the upper left of  the crescent moon early this evening

november 19, 2001
karma is real

november 19, 2001 saturday night live opened with darrell hammond as donald rumsfeld giving his daily press conference. the same daily press conference that is on tv now and that i watch almost daily. mr hammond cleverly and very skillfully imitated habits of mr rumsfeld that i noted back in  early october. it portrayed the secretary as being so tough on reporters that they were scared  to ask questions, fearing the wrath of my fave government official when asked a dumb  question. it was very good comedy that started the show with a bang. the group creed was the musical guest, a group’s who’s lyrics ive quoted here here numerous times. in fact, i had just recently named a page from their lyrics (of us to come). maybe i was tired but the show was just so-so. i couldn’t understand the words to either of the songs performded by creed (neither from my fave “human clay”) and the bands music and body language came off to me as anger from frustration or maybe aggressive energy. not spiritually celebratory as is the music of theirs  that i am use to enjoying.

colin powell is so perfect he is almost cosmic. its like he is so “straight” and on the ball that he doesn’t have any “cute” likeable quirks (like rumsfeld). he is definitely the man, he could easily  be the first black president (partially because of his non-quirky character). i also see haron amin alot as a spokesman for the northen alliance. he was doing interviews very soon  after the attacks and ive seen him in numerous programs. i like him because of his sharpness  and charisma. i looked up his bio saturday night and found he went to pasadena city college  (so did i for a bit) and uc riverside.

november 16, 2001   
i am irritated or bothered by very few things and god knows i love everything&everybody, so when something does rub me the wrong way i trust the feeling. when the news announced  that the 8 aid workers were released, my first reaction was that the terrorists (al queda or  taliban) punked out. that move came off to me as a sign of weakness.

when i saw them white-white faces the picture that came to my mind was of bible-waving,  “jesus loves you,” self-righteous people going to another country trying to spread christianity. and this irritated me. if they were over there spreading christianity as accused i feel they are fair game. thats like a blackman going to a klan meeting and talking stuff. right or wrong, you  deserve what you get. (the laws of nature will always overrule the laws of man)

just the contrast of those white-white, blue-eyed,  blonde haired folx in a sea of brown  skinned dark haired people was enough to irritate me. my intial dramatic reaction was “gimme  a gun and i’ll do them myself!” (ive never owned or shot a gun, so that was pure drama).

i could see them trying to spread the word of jesus using food and aid. sure it may have been a purely “humanitarian” effort, but the idea in my head (true or false) was that of them “you need jesus in your life” folx trying to convert people.

then i saw the pastor of the church that the 2 american aid workers atteneded in waco, tx. he was white-white, smiley (they all are a bit too smiley for me) with a slight texas drawl. again the picture of a bible-waving “you need jesus” freak came to my head. one thing i did like was that he said they celebrated till 4am after they got the news of the release. this i liked. they  partied in their own way all night long and that was cool. having been raised in a pentecostal church i know about that kinda celebration and i can picture the energy.

maybe its the blindly following a man thats been dead for 2000 years that irritates me. total  devotuion and giving total credit for everything to a myth in which there is absolutley no proof or evidence. maybe its this blind unconditional devoution and belief in something that is not  real, and then trying to spread that idea. (i am about data, information and science so believing  in non-information and mis-information is a “sin” in my philosophy. just as is lieing. so as im  typing this i think im realizing why im so irritated!!)

believing in and giving credit for the world and everything in it to something that doesnt exist.  crediting a non existing entity for something we and the hominids that came before us are  responsible for. why is it hard for humans to believe that we are responsible for love  and understanding? that we ourselves are responsible for our survival, and it is and was not  by the grace of a god in the sky. the bible-wavers take the accomplishments of humanity and credit it to something that doesnt exist!!! most western religions even go on to say that man is flawed, evil and without worth. this is simply not true.

im getting excited. i feel like im getting to the basic core problem with religion. it erases the  accomplishments of humanity. thats low self esteem on a macro level!! generation upon  generation told they are bad and worthless. that everything good comes from god. that man is bad. all through my childhood i went to church and heard people thank god for everything in  their lives, even waking them up that morning. man strips himself of all power and  accomplishemnt!!!! this is not a lie cause the people preaching this truly believe it. this is the  distribution of mis-information on the grandest scale.

i think i have discovered a key point in my own understanding

i got off track with the above idea, but im gonna leave the following paragraph anyways;  it seems that area is one of strict fundamental religion. women dont have rights and are “oppressed” in western eyes. but who is to say that this treatment is wrong? how do we know that system isnt the one needed for a succesfull evolution? isnt it up to the women and men  being oppressed to stand-up and free themselves? what is the consequence of these people  not earning their own freedom? and having it given to them by an outside force (and a western caucasin force).


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