Sep 05

Like A Room Without A Roof…

harmony with everything around you does not mean being totally wimpy and completely going with any flow. i have an obligation to maintain and orchestrate my energy to attain not only proper balance, but to protect myself and steady the flow of energy around me. should external experience and or energy around me go awry the part i play is crucial is steadying things. with harmony comes responsibility

hell, being a part of anything brings responsibility. i learned that a long long time ago and have since pay very close attention to the things i am a “part” of. which means sometimes declaring that i am not a part and do not wish to be included as one. some things you almost have to be a part of and i constantly evaluate the value and cost of such associations. this helps me appreciate them more or realize it’s time to move on. nothing is unconditional. absolutely nothing.

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Sep 05

What Is The Ultimate Goal?

i was thinking. what if a huge meteor smashes into the Earth and wipes out every trace of humanity and life. in regards to the big picture, what difference would it make?

what’s the point of all this? what is the ultimate goal? example: we fuss over climate change and the doom to come if we do nothing. but say we respond and we “save” the Earth and life goes on for millions of millennia, what is life going on for?

until i know that or develop a satisfying personal answer, i’m all but lost in the long term temporary of everything me, you and everything does

one step further may be that nothing universally really matters. what matters is completely subjective to each individual. no one or any institution can tell you what matters. they can only suggest. the responsibility is up to the individual to determine what his, our, and the ultimate goal is.

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Jul 15

The Orchestration And Navigation Of My Existence

work day 5 of 9 straight. mr. scale said 210.6 this morning, which is as low as it’s been in years. i was thinking with so much going on that i was “kickin’ ass” as far as life is concerned. that may be the case, but then i thought it’s more like i’m in a harmony with a lot of things simultaneously. the orchestration and navigation of my existence with the movement of things and life. being very pleased with the who-what-where-how and when of the person that is me. realizing the “work” i’ve put in over decades to be the me i am now. i’m content but not satisfied, or satisfied and not content. inventorying my resources and capabilities i feel obligated to achieve. i feel that’s my way of “giving back” for all that i have received. achieve at the highest level that i possibly can and fully maximize my opportunity. “achieve” is arbitrary, subjective, ambiguous etc. and it really means just keep doing what i’m doing more and better and let the future determine what my achievements are. Read the rest of this entry »

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Jun 18

I Obviously Am Not The Target Demographic

…and i don’t mind one bit. i absolutely LOVE getting and being older. so far my physical is holding up as my mental capacity operates with greater efficiency from experience. knowledge is such power.

not only being comfortable with but celebrating the things i no longer worry or care about. freeing up time and mindspace utilizing the ability to confidently skip that or this and focus on the more important.

everything is relative. subjective to the individual. as i got older i realized that what i think or how i feel about something supersedes just about what other’s say or think. that doesn’t mean i don’t take in consideration everything thought or viewpoint i hear, it means i evaluate and make a determination. take in what i like, while discarding what i don’t all the while continually processing all ideas.

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Jun 18

The real Problem

i think the REAL problem now is the breakdown of communication between people who have strong and passionate opposing opinions. to the point that to be genuinely inquisitive as to why or what triggers another’s emotion that no one can learn or understand. there are different ways to help people. i chose to live as an example that no matter what it is you can rise above it. and there is no need to get blinded and lost in stuff that ultimately doesn’t matter. (matter is subjective as it should be). we all fight our battles where we are. i cant fight on a battlefield i’ve never been on.

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Jun 18

I Am So Very Deeply In Love With My Existence…

and yes, “in love” with it like it’s my girlfriend. come to think about it, “life” just might be my wife…

i used the word “wife” for the poetic effect of the rhyme, but the term seems too institutionalized or sum’n for what i mean. made me rethink the whole idea of “wife” and marriage. not that i’m against it, but i understand it’s for business purposes- to protect both parties in a proposed long term relationship. “girlfriend” can seem too casual in ways but has a warmer feel. (not a fan of the use of “partner” at all in these situations)

the relationship i’m in with life feels exclusive. by choice im finding that i want nothing and nobody in between me and life. some of my most precious time is being alone and inside my own head. walking into my apartment where there is no obligation to be outside of the realm of my own thought. don’t have to talk to nobody and don’t have to listen to nobody. don’t want to talk to nobody and don’t want to listen to nobody. a focus on my thoughts, ideas and ponderings. during this time right now that’s all i want to do. i’m not talking about being a hermit or separating my self from family or people. it’s the extended time in freedom of thought i cherish right now. Read the rest of this entry »

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Jun 15

Universe Shattering Disaster Averted

I almost forgot to moisturize my face today. WHEW!! Universe shattering disaster averted…

well, mr scale said 213.6 this morning. a number i’m not mad at, and possibly encouraged by. seeing how i went to sleep too early, woke up and had a in bed snack of UTZ Pub Mix and strawberry gooey cheesecakey stuff. it was sooooooo good. ate the salty and the sweet with fruit punch laying in bed watching a NFL network program about Paul Brown. i didn’t realize how great and what kind of impact he had on the game i most love. and he did it in Cleveland! then went to Cincinnati after the team that bears his name fired him. Read the rest of this entry »

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Jan 19

California

the diversity of people, the craziness, hollywood, music, creativity, being in the mecca of the entertainment business- but being able to have a job outside of it. it don’t snow. its liberal in a sense of a social anything goes. the decadence of it- not las vegas decadent but close and far away enough from vegas!!! its a hustle out here and i like the somewhat chaos that hustle can present. some of the biggest opportunities can be found in chaos! LOL so many people are acting or playing a part to the point the part they are playing is real and viable. big city stuff but unlike NYC its spread out so you can drive and i love to drive and roadtrip. science and learning and the beaches and every time i go back home ain’t nothing like seeing places ive worked at or frequent on tv or in movies…

 

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