Jun 18

I Obviously Am Not The Target Demographic

…and i don’t mind one bit. i absolutely LOVE getting and being older. so far my physical is holding up as my mental capacity operates with greater efficiency from experience. knowledge is such power.

not only being comfortable with but celebrating the things i no longer worry or care about. freeing up time and mindspace utilizing the ability to confidently skip that or this and focus on the more important.

everything is relative. subjective to the individual. as i got older i realized that what i think or how i feel about something supersedes just about what other’s say or think. that doesn’t mean i don’t take in consideration everything thought or viewpoint i hear, it means i evaluate and make a determination. take in what i like, while discarding what i don’t all the while continually processing all ideas.

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Jun 18

The real Problem

i think the REAL problem now is the breakdown of communication between people who have strong and passionate opposing opinions. to the point that to be genuinely inquisitive as to why or what triggers another’s emotion that no one can learn or understand. there are different ways to help people. i chose to live as an example that no matter what it is you can rise above it. and there is no need to get blinded and lost in stuff that ultimately doesn’t matter. (matter is subjective as it should be). we all fight our battles where we are. i cant fight on a battlefield i’ve never been on.

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Jun 18

I Am So Very Deeply In Love With My Existence…

and yes, “in love” with it like it’s my girlfriend. come to think about it, “life” just might be my wife…

i used the word “wife” for the poetic effect of the rhyme, but the term seems to institutionalized or sum’n for what i mean. made me rethink the whole idea of “wife” and marriage. not that i’m against it, but i understand it’s for business purposes- to protect both parties in a proposed long term relationship. “girlfriend” can seem too casual in ways but has a warmer feel. (not a fan of the use of “partner” at all in these situations)

the relationship i’m in with life feels exclusive. by choice im finding that i want nothing and nobody in between me and life. some of my most precious time is being alone and inside my own head. walking into my apartment where there is no obligation to be outside of the realm of my own thought. don’t have to talk to nobody and don’t have to listen to nobody. don’t want to talk to nobody and don’t want to listen to nobody. a focus on my thoughts, ideas and ponderings. during this time right now that’s all i want to do. i’m not talking about being a hermit or separating my self from family or people. it’s the extended time in freedom of thought i cherish right now.

there is a physical aspect to it also. in my current situation i have the ability and desire to get up and go at the drop of a hat. i understand that being in a relationship with someone (this includes the relationship im in with my job) there is declared and undeclared obligation. not many would be able to keep up with my travel and journeys. hell even i have trouble keeping up with them, so i can’t expect another person to. in my experience i would not expect someone to tolerate or maybe even understand my coming and goings. and even more i don’t want anybody near to being in that position. my job and the stuff i want to do leaves very little room for anything else. and right now i’m loving it.

relationships are overrated anyways

LOL!

this kind of independence also has to do with having close friends. yeah sure you will say people should be happy that you are doing what you really want to do. in my experience that only works for so long or for so far. you either grow apart as mutual time is limited or one becomes more immersed in their own adventure. “close” as in close friends is relative and the term “friend” is highly subjective. chatting once a month could be considered close. close friends could have never met. sooooo what am i getting at? i forgot. but it’s natural for a friend to get a bit jelly if another is doing things that they dream to do. and how it feels sharing adventure with folks who cant and maybe never will. like eating a steak in front of a starving person. LOL. and there is the other side where you become “attached” and would rather be with them than go if they can’t…

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Jun 15

Universe Shattering Disaster Averted

I almost forgot to moisturize my face today. WHEW!! Universe shattering disaster averted…

well, mr scale said 213.6 this morning. a number i’m not mad at, and possibly encouraged by. seeing how i went to sleep too early, woke up and had a in bed snack of UTZ Pub Mix and strawberry gooey cheesecakey stuff. it was sooooooo good. ate the salty and the sweet with fruit punch laying in bed watching a NFL network program about Paul Brown. i didn’t realize how great and what kind of impact he had on the game i most love. and he did it in Cleveland! then went to Cincinnati after the team that bears his name fired him.

i’m going out tonight. i still get excited about going out, even after all these years. i been going out for like 35 years now. but i can say it hasn’t been the same. to say it has gotten better doesn’t quite state it correctly, it’s become more significant or more relevant or more something. i go out on a higher plane now, escalated even. maybe my “status” or involvement or something. either way or whatever the word i DEFINITELY am having more fun and enjoying it more. that part i will say has steadily gotten better over the years. knowing a bunch or folks when i go out is cool, but i also like going where i don’t know nobody. and in some p-funk cases where i meet people i “know” but have never met in a city ive never been. i love my side of the stage, that’s my territory. my space to express and rhythm to degrees i possibly can’t publicly anywhere else. well, at Steeler games i can go completely off too

i am in such a good place right now it’s scary. i catch myself being cautious and i don’t even care. in fact, the work i put in from that cautious energy feels good. it’s work im putting into my life monitoring, organizing and administrating it. ive said it many many times. happy takes work and care. happy just don’t happened and you have to stay on your game to maintain it.

the 56 years of foundation ive built for my life is sustaining me beyond my wildest belief. well, ok. the foundation on which i live started way way before me and was formally presented to me by my parents. life was presented on a platter for me but it was up to me to fully utilize it. when you are young you don’t know and or take things for granted. i didn’t stray too far off the path set before me, but i did modify it to suit me. and now i look back at the education, learning, career choices, etc etc and see how they support me now. it’s like a culmination. and it all basically points and leads towards my ultimate goals. well, the ultimate goals i can set for myself for this point and time. you never know what it’s gonna be, and for me that’s one of the best parts of life.

i may have 80-90% of life figured out and that makes it way for me to get the things that i want. but that 10-20% that i may never figure out is what makes life worth living. i don’t want to know it all, just as i don’t want things to be determined for me. that’s why the whole idea of an existence under an all powerful GOD ultimately determining EVERYTHING makes me cringe. that’s the last thing i want. i want whatever this life is to be as wide open as it can be. only limited by the physical laws of space and time until we figure out how to bend and twist even that.

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Jan 19

California

the diversity of people, the craziness, hollywood, music, creativity, being in the mecca of the entertainment business- but being able to have a job outside of it. it don’t snow. its liberal in a sense of a social anything goes. the decadence of it- not las vegas decadent but close and far away enough from vegas!!! its a hustle out here and i like the somewhat chaos that hustle can present. some of the biggest opportunities can be found in chaos! LOL so many people are acting or playing a part to the point the part they are playing is real and viable. big city stuff but unlike NYC its spread out so you can drive and i love to drive and roadtrip. science and learning and the beaches and every time i go back home ain’t nothing like seeing places ive worked at or frequent on tv or in movies…

 

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Jan 19

More About Happy

worked til midnight last night and had to be back in the chair at 11:30am, so i didn’t get my usual extended hours of sleep. maybe that with a gloomyish day here in L.A. had me in a very less than excited mood compared to yesterday. assessing the situation later i felt i am happy, just not so excited. so i’m walking to work and on the corner was a girl giving out some kind of handouts and she had her happy bubbly turned up as she should. for a few microseconds i was annoyed by her what seemed to be out of place energetic energy. as i walked by i semi-smiled and told her “you too happy.” she smiled and laughed.

 

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Jan 19

It Feels Good To Feel Good

being in a good mood makes everything better. who knew?

my happy does not exist in a vacuum. it CANNOT be produced without the interaction of EVERYTHING around me- that means good and bad. my happy is most probably based on how i handle and interpret the totality of reality. how i process life and how that determines my worldview. so when i wake up in the morning i’m already on the plus side of happy and have cultivated the capability, resources and opportunities to get more. i monitor and protect my happy. happy don’t come by accident, no matter how much one is given. happy has to be worked at on a very personal individual basis. NOBODY can just give you happy, and more than likely its something you have to “fight” to have (and definitely maintain).

 

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Jan 17

Name The Funkiest Drummer You’ve Heard

Barry Chenault

Actually, let me clarify that. There is a structure and style that I most favor and when creating music go there. Mr. Chenault plays this style or whatever better than I can imagine it. Now I love me some Funk and there are many varieties of it but I like mine with tempo, space and regiment it’s damn near military like. With funky nuances right where they should be. Read the rest of this entry »

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